Satisfaction from labour

Had an unusually hectic schedule the past week, where it was non-stop all the way daily through the entire week, that reminded me of past lives. Except that rather than feeling embattled and drained, I felt so alive and charged. Heh. That's not to say that I don't get busy now, but these periods are much more spread out, and they also tend to occur from market trends rather than overcapacity. A huge difference from the daily fire-fighting where one hardly had time to catch your breath, ever.

14 months into this firm and role, I've found a comfortable groove between the daily tasks while also juggling various projects and other mandates that come through with varying timelines and priority. Being in a centralised function also meant that my touchpoints with other colleagues and stakeholders are more spread out across the region rather than being focused on a select group based in the same office, and I quite enjoy the variety and the exposure to a larger group. It allows me to have a more comprehensive of the firm's offering and strengths across the region and globally too. 

With the current work situation, there is a rather nice balance where most days the hours are quite humane and there is often actual space and bandwidth for the brain to properly process and add value to the work I'm involved in, making it really enjoyable and challenging in the best ways. A very nice surprise and stark contrast to the previous roles in the last decade. What a breath of fresh air. 

Crystal clarity

Doubt, and go on doubting until you come to a point that you cannot doubt anymore. And you cannot doubt anymore only when you come to know something on your own. Then there is no question of doubt, there is no way to doubt. 

Living Dangerously, Osho 

Whilst I always tend to favour fiction in my readings, I have started venturing into the non-fictional genre more in past years. Philosophy is one of these newish areas of interest, although reads like these take wayyy longer than the light fluffy stuff. I can't speedread these as I often had to pause and reflect on what's being said.

Still slowly making my way through this book, but this paragraph struck me. It made me realise that oftentimes I do practice that, even when it's not a conscientious act. 

I tend to make decisions and conclusions based on instinct, almost always independently. Reflecting on this text revealed to me that while it may have seemed even to myself that I relied solely on my gut, I do deliberate internally until I reach a state of clarity when I've eliminated all doubts, to my satisfaction. However, it can be tough to explain exactly what gives me the certainty to others, particularly when it comes to issues related to emotions rather than facts. This realisation does provide a reassuring boost to my decision making skills, heh. 

Osho is known to emphasize personal responsibility and freedom after all, and this definitely serves as a stark focus on self-assessment. I'm comforted to affirm that I do have a good hold of that, even if it's less intention and more instinct. 

The quiet last dinner for 2022

While the dinner for Christmas Eve was filled with chaotic joy and fun, with an additional invited guest and the brother-in-law's family that included the funloving 8-year-old niece, New Year's Eve dinner was a much more subdued affair, but enjoyable nonetheless.

It was a quiet dinner for four, and the MIL delighted in changing the table settings, swopping the table linen from white to a gorgeous black, an elegant and striking contrast to all the champagne gold decor and place settings. 

In place of a dance party fiesta, we played a more laidback but still upbeat playlist. It was pretty cool to see the in-laws, inspired by a news program earlier that morning extolling the benefits of songs and dance to one's life, busting out some moves and simply enjoying moving to the rhythm and beats with pure joy and little care. 

Food was kept to the usual festive favourites:  trio of aperitifs, pâte en coûte, foie gras, followed by steak with mushrooms and sweet potato purée, cheese and a delicious hazelnut cake. There was a moment of chagrin when we discovered that the cake had barely any chocolate (safe for the scant four pieces around the sides of the gâteau), but we ultimately decided not to focus on that for the evening, and simply revel in each other's company. 

As the clock struck 12, officially stepping us into 2023, we enjoyed a good viewing of the fireworks display at Champs-Élysées, in the comfort of home and safely far away from the 1-million-strong crowd gathered there in person. Best way to partake in festivities, methinks. 😬 

To another better year ❣

2022: Of losses and gains

That truly sums up this year for me. 

It's an understatement to say it's been a big year for me. Fairer descriptions would include monumental, epic, pivotal (eww), dramatic, earth-shattering, etc. You get the gist. Definitely one for the books and not for the faint of heart. 

Grief featured prominently for me this year (9 out of 12 months counts as prominent, methinks) and in the form of some huge (and some near) losses. Some I've had time to mentally prepare for, like losing my dad to cancer; and others were sprung upon me like a rug being pulled out from right under my feet. There's no way to determine which is the lesser of two evils - both are equally undesirable circumstances that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. 

With the grief comes heartbreak and sadness perpetuated by too many tears shed, and there were moments that just felt like endless stretches of darkness where I felt like couldn't see anything even if I held my hand up to my face. I caught brief glimpses of what it's potentially like for a person stuck in chronic depression, and it was truly a dismal feeling that just sucks all the life out of you. I really feel for people who have to endure this for extensive periods - that is certainly not a sustainable way to exist.  

But the eternal optimist in me always prevails. Or rather, I always refuse to just let a negative situation be just that - there has to always be something(s) good coming out of it to not make all the pain a waste.

SO. 

What makes this year the biggest one ever (so far) in my life, was all the love, light, sunshine, starbursts and rainbows that came through. They shone even more brightly next to the darkness and I truly felt more alive than ever at the end of it. I learnt lessons like how strong I truly am, resolved some deep-seated resentment and issues I had with my dad before he passed, picked up cycling in a way I never imagined I could/would (and fell crazy in love with it), and finally, properly learnt to love life savoring every moment and sunny day that comes by. 

Through it all, I was reminded once again, that I was never alone - that I was so blessed to have such an amazing group of friends, always there for me in their different ways. More incredibly, these are friendships of varying vintages, from the ones I've grown up with since we were toddlers/teens, to friends made while we were all young adults learning to navigate adulthood, and even new friends whom I've only gotten to know in the past year or so. 

Yet, all of them were equally protective, fiercely so, unwaveringly loyal, and steadfastly committed to wrapping me tightly in their love and concern, in their individual unique manner. 

I'd like to think that good fortunes aside, I must be at least a pretty decent friend to them too, to deserve such love. :D

This year, I have so much to give thanks for, and I end it with the most immense gratitude in my heart and from deep, deep in my soul. 

Dear friends (and self), thank you for loving me so much and so well. May we all thrive together for the new year.

You truly are the best things in life. I love you. See you in 2023. 

404 days of calm

Today, my Calm app quietly informed me that I'm have done 404 consecutive days of meditation/mindfulness practice.

I smiled a tiny happy smile. 

There is something just so satisfying about being able to do something consistently, daily, over hundreds of days. Especially for me personally, as consistency is something I've often struggled with, and just finally starting to get a better handle on. Even more so as mindfulness is also something I've been prioritising over the recent years as well. 

So, yay me. :)

This is actually the third year of my subscription, and while there are other similar apps on the market, Calm was the one which appealed to me from day one, from its interface to the various features they offer. I actually don't really know how the other competitors differ from it, since my subscription worked well for me - I'm terrible at market surveillance, and notorious for just downloading or paying for subscriptions based on whether the price is fair (to me) and ignoring price comparisons. Am just lazy for things like that. Oof. 

The first year marked the beginning of my Project Mindfulness, where I was making concerted efforts to meditate more regularly. I was charmed from day 1: adored the background visuals and audio selections, and the daily themed 10-minute snippets that was more do-able than just sitting in silence for the same duration, as well as the topics they touched on each day. This year of initiation saw me doing 7-to-10-day streaks at a time, and then I would just randomly drop off for days or weeks, before picking it up again after. Kept going back to it as I found that the days I got to it did bring some form of comfort and peace to the mental space, especially on many a frazzled day.

Year two saw me finding a comfortable groove with it and incorporating it into my daily routine. I still slipped up occasionally but those breaks got shorter and less frequent, and I got right back to it almost immediately. I also learnt to try out sleep stories which proved useful during a period when I experienced unusual trouble finding sleep, a very rare and therefore vexing occurrence for me. The soundscapes of different scenes/locations were also a fun alternative to the usual topical discussions I was used to, transporting me to Central Park in NYC or a Costa Rican jungle for a brief 10-20 minutes, a different way to train the focus on stilling the wandering mind.

The year past has been one where I finally learnt to assess what suits my needs the most each day, be it a minute of centred breathing, guided walking meditations, or even the repetition of my favourite Loving Kindness practice, which has truly brought much needed respite and tranquility that I needed through a year of chaos. Keeping an open mind and trying out the daily series featuring Jay Shetty rather than the dependable Tamara Levitt has also been a surprisingly refreshing change on some days. 

And just like that, 404 days have past. I still enjoy using the app plenty, so I will likely stick to it for at least another year before I decide if I trust myself to maintain the practice without needing to depend on an app to stay the course. But suffice to say that I'm glad I made the effort to implement this pratice, with the recognition that it's what I needed. 

Ending this post with the usual prayer/wish I often dedicate to individuals on my mind for the day, many a day to myself too:

May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be at peace.

Keep calm and carry on

 

New(ish) year, old me

Not sure if it's just the demographics of my peers (ie aging ajummas like me), but increasingly, I've been noticing a trend of fatigue towards the whole "new year, new me" phenomena that used to be so popular everytime the year ends/starts. 

As the title of this post suggests, I'm still obstinately in the whole "review the past year, and set new resolutions" mindset. In fact I tend to do a "big" review twice a year, probably because my birthday falls nicely in the mid-year point and that's another time that I like to reflect on what I have achieved and set new goals (or refresh old ones) for the rest of the calendar or birth year. 

The main change I have observed in myself though, is more grace and kindness in accepting when I don't always achieve everything I set out to accomplish; or allowing myself to set the same priorities year after year. Simply put, the things that are important to me are not likely to change over time, the main thing that I try to change up now is to try and vary my approach, to troubleshoot what hasn't worked before. 

So true to my form, here are the key resolutions I have set myself for the (not so) new year:

- Staying active: Keeping the momentum of healthy habits I have set for myself for daily activity, gradually increasing my daily steps target (have upped that from 10k to 11k earlier this year), rebuild the strength I've lost from slacking off due to various issues the past years, and achieve some performance goals like doing at least 1 pull up and achieving a full split by the end of the year.

- Social connections: Quality > quantity as always. I've fallen off on keeping in touch with some close friends over the whole pandemic period which was strange overall for everyone, and am looking to rekindle some of these friendships while also reinforcing some newer friendships that have been magically forged in recent years too.

- Interests: Keep putting time into things I love and enjoy doing, with greater consistency but also more reasonable targets. Trying to do everything all at once just never worked for me so I really should recognise that I am not a bot who can fully utilise every minute of every waking hour. Haha. A couple of these include writing, music, dance and yoga. Did I say I was trying to be realistic?? Ah well, let's see how we go. 

- Self development: Setting some targets for myself to learn and improve my skills and knowledge too. Professionally I would like to learn to develop better project management and leadership skills, and fortuitously I'm actually in a place that this is something I have room, space and support to do that. Personally it's probably more in the crafting and language arena, the former for pleasure and the latter for utility in picking up that third language of French to better converse with the man and his family/friends. 

That's the main bulk of it, I think. Like I said, the key thing I'm trying to change this year is to be more specific on how I plan to fulfill these, but with a huge dose of patience - it doesn't matter if I start later than expected - the most important thing is to actually start, then keep it up. Hence me sharing this only now - I'm allowing my "year" to start proper in Q2, with the first 3 months as erm, warm up. Time is relative anyway right? Heehee. 

Let's see how we go this year. With luck you may actually get a review of this on this space in December this year. Excited. :) 

New update: The love for routine

Pretty much since I've had a conscientious presence of mind, I've abhorred routine and organisation. I don't know why nor how, but I've always detested it, preferring to be spontaneous, reactive and living my best life when I feel like I don't know what's around the corner, or the next day. 

I took pride in being a "free spirit" and thrived on "adaptability". Predictability was a dirty, dirty word in my dictionary in four decades of existence. 

So imagine my horror to realise sometime last year, that I was actually starting to appreciate, and dare I say, love routine. *gasp* 

Me. This person I knew intimately, who used to happily bring all her textbooks and worksheets to school daily rather than pack her bag the previous night, way back since primary school years. 

Nowadays, I actually derive satisfaction from preparing my outfit for the next day and my work/workout bag each evening before bed. I have my specific morning routines down pat, depending on whether it's a weekday that I work from home or the office, or a weekend - workouts, morning walks, and the default kopi-o and eggs for breakfast. Who am I?! 

Perhaps it comes from finally becoming an adult, and grudgingly acknowledging that being organised and prepared is really not a bad thing after all. It also stems from my self-awareness that I am really, really NOT a morning person, so anything I can do the night before that makes it less painful and arduous to start my day, is an act of kindness from present me to future me. 

After so long, I finally understood why my mum nagged and nagged me to always prepare for the next day before I go to bed. :p Hurhurhur.

Whatever it is, after a few weeks of feeling a twinge of guilt for betraying that younger me, I learnt to appreciate and embrace this newfound habit of being predictable and organised. After all, it still serves my innate laziness, and that freedom of not having to expend more braincells because I've already done the preparation, is a pretty freeing and pleasing feeling. Do what's best for me, yada yada. 

In essence, I'm still me, lah. Just with a significant update in my OS, which has proven to improve efficiency and minimised some glitches. Heh.

Rainbow kisses

 

The sweetest boy

Dear Pistol,

My very first (fur)godson. Through all the years I've seen and heard about you, I will always remember how you are such a forever puppy, so exuberant and full of passion and life, and crazily smart. You are the best friend to your mom for all the times that I couldn't be, and I can always feel her heart bursting with love and pride whenever she regales me with all your antics, from the little pup who learnt how to turn on her heater yourself when she is at school, to embarrassing her on her walk with you in town by stopping strategically in front of luxury boutiques to relieve yourself, to how you would "train" your signature flop to prepare for when Godma comes to visit, because you were told that I prefer cats over dogs. 

I'm not sure if you ever knew, but as much as I often show you a stoic face despite all your efforts to charm me when I visit, you melt my heart with how simply loving and adoring you are to your pawrents, and also to this rather cold Godma. Sorry that I didn't get to see you one more time before you joined Bullet at the rainbow bridge, but while I shed a tear of goodbye today for you, I am immensely glad that you got to live such a happy joyful life. You had the best pawrents, and I know they love you so much and deeply that it truly shattered their heart to bid you goodbye even though they know it's time. 

I have been dreading this day, but now that it's arrived, I send you off with all my love and wishes. Run free like puppies and chase all the balls like you always did. Say hi to Bullet and enjoy being reunited with your forever love. Watch over your mummy and daddy, they will miss you so much.

Thank you for loving me, so very much, and I hope you know I love you in my very subdued way. 

xoxo
Godma

Into '20, and closer to 40

Honestly, I really didn't think too much about the significance of a new decade. 2020 is but another year to me, although of course it has a nice ring to it. The title of this post is a mere effort to find some meaning or rhyme of sorts to mark the start of this year (and my last year as a thirty-something).

Dare I proclaim yet another attempt at more consistent blogging? I do make an exercise of determining some areas that I would like to continue working on, to better the best version of myself which is a constant ongoing process. And despite what I just said about time being a transient concept, the brain has been wired to take the start/end of a year as a time of reflection - a useful checkpoint of sorts to look back on achievements and growths, challenges and heartbreaks. I celebrate all the blessings and friendships I still maintain (or even lost), and give thanks for all the memories and experiences gained.

Rather than bore you with the full list of resolutions I've made, here's the summary of my so-called theme of this new year: to maximise the limited hours I have each day, by spending it wisely on things and people that matter the most. Each minute should (to my best effort), either bring joy (or at least some value) to someone else, or at the very least to myself.

And yes, blogging/writing qualifies (at least in bringing myself joy, lah). Heh.

Whether you are one who sets resolutions, my best wishes to you: for a year of strength, health, adventures and love.

2020, let's go.

refreshed mantra

"Do what makes you happy."

"Live the life you love."

"Love the life you live."

Yada yada yada.

Simple enough statements, that seem to distill that basic human instinct for the pursuit of happiness.

That, would be the key objective which one strives towards, I guess?

Of course, there are various deeper questions behind this: what makes you happy, how do you define happiness, and how do you (or should you) draw a line between hedonistic pleasures versus altruistic satisfaction from doing good for others and the society, etc.

Ultimately, it still comes down to living a life with purpose. Not just knowing what you want to do or accomplish, but that these goals are aligned with one's values and priorities in life.

That, is what I need to reflect and recalibrate my life on.

The delinquent daughter

Whenever I contemplate my relationship with the parentals and how it has evolved over the past thirty-something years, I always wonder if they feel shortchanged. Given the amount of time and effort they invested in me to ensure I have a good education, instilled values and morals that play a large part in formulating the person I am and how I relate to others, and always supported my interests and career/education choices, I wonder if they feel that they are not really getting enough back from me for all that.

I know parenthood doesn't quite work that way, but the parents do come from a generation who view children as somewhat of an investment, more so than what I think my peers expect generally. And while I do support them financially, I've never been a particularly affectionate child, nor do I confide or share much of my life with them - they are often kept on a "need to know" basis for most things happening. I've never brought them on a vacation, nor taken the time to interact with them beyond the usual sundry topics when we are together.

Part of the reason for that, is simply because that's pretty much how our family dynamics are - we have always been more reserved when it comes to showing care and concern. A larger part of it, however, probably stems from various incidences that occurred during my younger years, which left a streak of resentment running so deep that I still hold some level of grudge towards them. For not protecting me better, for not listening, for making me grow up way before I needed to. It all worked out well, but I guess there's a petty side of me that still can't really let go till now.

Now that we are all getting old(er), I am conscious of mortality, and the fact that at the end of the day, they did try their best, to act in my best interests. Parents are humans too, it's inevitable that they fail sometimes, or suffered lapses in judgment, but everything they do is always borne of love and a desire for my well-being. Perhaps it's time to let go of that last vestiges of wilfulness I hold, and be a better daughter to them than I have been, while I still can.

It wouldn't hurt to at least try.

Weekday drinks

espresso martinis

Girlfriend U and I have the worst luck trying to fix up dates sometimes. Fortunately or unfortunately, we are in the same line of work, which means that one's work day can quickly evolve from easy buzz to frantic busy in a matter of minutes. The only silver lining is that we are therefore able to empathise when either had to cancel at the last minute. :p

After a number of times where we took turns raincheck-ing catch-ups, we finally made it for a lovely evening of drinks, just in time to catch the sunset, no less! That in itself was worth having a drink or two over. Heh.

We were early enough to grab a table at Spago, with a clear view of the infinity pool, AND the sun setting over the CBD. Murphy was in a generous mood that day, I say. This place was bustling even on a normal weekday evening, with the crowd comprising a mix of tourists, hotel guests and the office workers from around the vicinity.

It was one of those evenings where drinks, snacks and conversation flowed quickly and smoothly, and three hours flew by before we noticed that it was time to adjourn.

This friendship with U sprung up in the most serendipitous manner: we met at a trade event, while she was on secondment here from her office based in Europe, and somehow we got to talking and hit it off. That random conversation eventuated in lunch the following week, and drinks the week after. We kept up with each other on texts and emails, had a couple more catch ups before her secondment ended after a couple of months. And then some three months later, a position opened up in Singapore, and just like that, she's now based here.

I am hardly one who makes new friends easily - I take forever to warm up to people most of the time, and couple that with this introvert personality and the security of my existing close-knit friendships, I never really saw the need to add more people into my life. Hence, I had surprised myself in how I was open to meeting up with her and developing this connection. I guess with the right people, the right vibes and chemistry, I can be bothered after all to make friends. Heeheehee. The main thing about her and a couple of other new friends I have now added to my life over the past years, was that you can sense a genuine interest to get to know me as a person, and not just the usual superficial schmoozing at play. These are the ones who say they want to catch up, and actually then make the effort to do so. While we all already have our closest and dearest circle of chums, we think of each other, and make the time to check in via texts or emails every now and then.

Such unexpected gems, that I am glad I kept an open mind to gain. :)

Splendid evening

Thanksgiving: the art of letting go

Some friendships you let go as they run their course. Your lives are going in different directions, and you acknowledge that like it or not, you are not on their list of priorities anymore. As much as I'm all about agape love, there comes a point where I have to acknowledge that I am only human, and I have only limited time and attention for people in my life, there is no point in keeping these unrequited relationships. So you just stop trying, and let the connection fade with time.

Some friendships you let go for your own sanity and benefit. You realise eventually that having these people who are willing to be in your life, actually does more harm than good, and potentially can wreak more havoc, unwittingly, or not. So you take a breath, let the mind overrule the heart, and lock them out.

Then there are some friendships you let go, for their good. You know that staying in their lives, for whatever reason, is no longer adding value to them, and may even end up hurting them. So you steel your heart, and stride out of their lives, knowing that the best way to love them is from where you stand now - from a distance. 

Such is life - people come and go, and everything happens for a reason. At the end of it, I just learn to take it all in, and most importantly, be thankful - for the memories and the love while I had them, and for the friendships that have stood the test of time, year after year after year. 

As I learn to get better at letting go, I learn to be grateful for those who made the effort, and fight to keep our bonds alive, no matter how much time, life and distance gets in the way. 💖

Almost done, 2017?!

The clock struck 12 at noon today, and the dependable test chime played nationwide on our Public Signal systems to signal that all is well, and the systems are working fine, for the last time this year (it's sounded at this time every first day of the month). While hearing that always brought a sense of comfort, I couldn't help but sigh a little with incredulity.

How is it already December, the last month of the year?? As much as I always accepted that time just flies by faster and faster each year, it still feels surreal that we are nearly done with 2017 and before you know it, it will be yet another brand new year.

Somehow, for most of the loved ones, including myself, it seemed to have been a huge year, full of drama and big changes. Now that we are in the final stretch, instead of winding down, things just seem to have gotten even more intense as everything culminates to the end of 2017.

Time to buckle down even more and maximise my achievements and goals for the year. Go go go! May we have lots to give thanks and be proud of when we reflect on the year past, come 31st December. :)

The expert time waster

That's me, usually 80% of the time, but these days it feels like 120% of the time.

The cycle is always almost identical each time - I have a grand plan of each task and project I need to do, with a reasonable timeline and the exact steps required to get there.

Then I just sit around and allow myself to be distracted - no, scratch that, I intentionally seek out various random, nonsensical distractions to deviate from that well constructed plan. All the way till I have no time left and scramble at 100% to get everything done, and scrape by at the last minute by the skin of my teeth.

UGH. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF.

This procrastination monkey problem is now a full blown infestation and it just feels like I am both the parent and the child in my life situation, and both are out of control at the moment.

Irks the hell outta me, but that rebellious inner kid has just been given her way for too long. Plus, as much as I used to breezily laugh at myself, shrugging, "Oh well, I thrive on adrenaline!" I am getting sick of this sillyness. That's not the right way to live, literally wasting my life away.

So I am pulling an intervention, on myself.

This has to stop. Today. No more.

I refuse to let myself become the type of parent I abhor.

*marches off with resolve* Will report back on progress in two weeks.

P.s: See, this is why I can't see myself having children - how can I be responsible for bringing up another person when I can't even have a proper handle on myself?!

My girly dates

Been spoilt with a slew of dates with the precious girlfriends in my life, and it's always so soothing for the soul: there was a dinner date with the wondersis, where we bemoaned the closure of our favourite comfort foodstall; then the bestie who was in town for a layover before heading to her amazing Maldives vacay portioned out a few hours after her family dinner to grab drinks with me and chat about the most random stuff in our lives; and then there was a super random lunch date with dear Impy on a day I worked from home and texted her on a whim. The poor woman had just got home and practically went out right away again just to meet me for a quick lunch.

No matter the state of my life at any one point, the constant has always been these lovely girlfriends, and quite a handful more. Really nothing more I could ask for, and ever thankful to be so so loved.

Thank you for always indulging my whims, and loving me to much. xoxo.

Adulting is hard

so says this woman (me) who has been legally one for some 1.5 decades. Face palm much?


What can I say - have been spared the full slew of responsible lifestyle choices, huge purchases and mortgages, till now, and with work often being at full load, breakneck speed, I can't help feeling a tad overwhelmed at times.


Bleah. Well, in the grand scheme of things, it's all really exciting and I do find it fun most of the time, except in certain moments when it all just feels a bit much.


So like the responsible mature adult I am, I suck it up and conjure a whingey post here, like the princess I am.


Still don't feel like an adult, oof.

(Audiobook) The Like Switch: How to win people over

Another audio book I enjoyed, The Like Switch was written by Dr. Jack Schafer, a former FBI Special Agent who specialised in behaviour analysis and recruitment of spies. This was essentially a handbook summarising his proven strategies on how to "instantly read people and influence how they perceive you, so you can easily turn on the like switch".

I wouldn't necessarily say this was a life changing reading experience, but it was certainly rivetting to listen to the narration of his various anecdotes illustrating the tips and tricks to subtly influence people to form positive perceptions about you. If you were a fan of tv series like "Lie to Me", "Criminal Minds" or even "House", which often delve into the human psyche and unravel how certain scenarios unfold, I think you will enjoy this book.

Funnily enough, the biggest "ah ha" moment for me in this reading was in a chapter examining how different personalities relate to others, and when it broke down why introverts can tend to prefer online interaction over face to face communications - or more specifically, with those over-exuberant hypersocial extroverts, hurhurhur.

Internet is introvert friendly - introverts disclose more information on social networks than they do in face to face encounters. This is because the internet format allows introverts sufficient time to meaningful responses. Introverts also experience difficulty initiating conversations, especially with strangers. Social networks eliminates this added social pressure, and also allows introverts to express themselves without constantly being interrupted by extroverts. 

Introverts are more willing to say what they really believe, not having to worry about direct exposure to negative feedback that can occur in face to face communication.

The Like Switch, Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins

Truth be told, I am not particularly fussed about making more people like me. Have come to terms rather early on in life that you can do everything you can to be righteous and nice, but you will never be able to please everyone. There will always be certain people who cast their own perceptions and choose to see you as the character they have already decided you are. Nonetheless, it was still an intriguing read and it does help me understand other personalities a little better.

台北 | 品茶:: Tea appreciation

As a frequent tea drinker, AB's mum was curious about the Chinese tea which Taiwan is famous for. For this visit, she was keen to check out some of tea shops for tasting and to purchase some back as gifts as well as her own consumption.

Thanks to recommendations from the trusty galfriend who was well acquainted with the scene, we navigated to the quietly charming CANS tea and books house (罐子茶书馆). Located in the corner of a smaller street in the Da'an district (大安區), also renowned for the location of the original Din Tai Fung restaurant and a multitude of tea shops, it was one of the most discreet spaces in the area, tucked away from the more bustling streets. We felt like we had chanced upon a well kept secret.

This tea and book store/gallery is one of three outlets, located in Beijing, Shanghai and Taipei. Other than the space on level 1 which houses the tea shop that offers free tea tasting sessions, the basement was a gallery space, and the higher levels included a book store that specialises in rare, out of print books (quite a large number commissioned by the National Palace Museum). Another floor was dedicated to display of tea utensils and equipment, while the highest floor on level 7 held a large expansive area for tea workshops. The furniture used were mostly made of wood, with soft indoor lighting as well as diffused daylight from the surroundings, which gave this space a tranquil, comforting ambience.

We didn't have time to explore the other levels but were fortunate enough to get to sit in on a tea tasting session. The shop space was quite small and could only host four people comfortable along the bar for tea tasting, and a group was just departing when we arrived. Over the course of some 1.5 hours, we were first given a quick introduction of the various teas that Taiwan is famous for - namely the Oolong (乌龙) and Mountain teas (山茶), as well as some quick facts about the different varieties of tea, their oxidation levels as well as taste profiles. I had forgotten until now that green tea, being the least processed of the teas, actually contains more caffeine than Oolong or Tie Guan Yin (铁观音), which have been roasted and smoked for the longest.

We tasted four teas in total, two mountain teas and two Oolong. Chinese tea is quite a different animal from the western teas, especially Oolong, often in that unique smoky dryness that evolves into a sweet aftertaste. Tea drinking, like coffee, wine and whisky, is a very personal experience. I'd imagine that no two persons will have the exact same sentiments towards the same tea that they taste, although they might or might not share the same likes or dislikes towards the general taste profile. I like my tea much like I like my beer and whisky, either light and citrusy/floral, or deep, robust and complex. Anything in between, I just struggle to form an opinion about it, hurhur. AB's mum like the delicate florals which are smooth and rounded, while AB's dad likes the stronger stuff, else he thinks it's a waste of time, hahaha. And thus, it was with such feedback that they made some conservative orders of two of the tea they tasted. I hope they will savour them and over time, appreciate even more of these products that are so different from what they usually go to.

So there it was, a tranquil comforting afternoon immersed in the world of tea. Definitely a unique experience of Taiwan I would probably not have placed high on my travel itinerary, but one which I enjoyed immensely in the end.

Note from the future

Only because I'm doing my usual stunt of back-dating this post. Ha. The actual date I am writing this is.. shamefully, 4 June 2017. Eeps.

I am so behind that it's not even remotely funny. UGH.

Contemplating the amount I need to catch up on (erm well, only 2.5 months and counting..!), the heart sank a little, but at the same time, I accept that I am the only person who can be responsible for hitting or missing these self-imposed goals. Sure, I allowed life to get in the way, and I definitely have the easy option of just binning the original plan to have daily posts, and resume from wherever I presently am right now. But I am still unwilling to do that, yet. Simply because when I dig deep into the depths of my procrastinating heart, I know that I have not tried my best yet.

So there. This is my Xth attempt at catching back up on my daily posts. I might succeed this time, I might not, but at the very least I know I'm gonna make a better effort at achieving it. It's all about time management - the one key skill I am determined to get better, much much better at doing this year.

Wish me luck, and hopefully one day in the not too distant future, you will see a post published on the date that it was meant for. :p