Monday, February 19, 2018

mindless rant

Why, hello there strangers. :)


Where have I been? What have I been doing, or not doing? What are my grand plans for this year?


I've really ran out of words or excuses now. Just, life. Work. Random adulting stuff.


Each day is about getting by, one day at a time, hopefully with more items struck off my to do list than new ones piled on. With (even more) hopefully, minimal distractions and procrastination.


Rinse, repeat.


Breathe.


This daily grind takes the energy out of me, more mental than physical most days. And the flesh, is as weak as the spirit, so most evenings we all curl up on the couch or bed, refusing to think or do anything constructive.


UGH. It's no way to live, and I know I need to snap out of it.


Baby steps, it takes. I know.


Slowly, surely, I will reclaim my life, one teeny minute and mini-goal at a time.


Starting with this post. 😁

Friday, December 08, 2017

Surprise supermarket find

Chanced across this in the chilled foods section while browsing the aisles of Meidi-ya at Liang Court, and had to give it a try. Eggs are one of my dietary staples and faves, and chawanmushi has to be among the top eggy dishes I favour.

It's quite legit! Has the same silky custardy texture that the usual restaurant versions have, just that I was having it cold (was too lazy to heat up LOL), but it was still really yummy.

Heh, perfect for those days when I just want to have sashimi, some cold edamame (available from the same mart, just wash straight out of the packet and sprinkle some salt!), glass of ocha (or sake). Yay. Simple fuss-free meal done.

💖

Thursday, December 07, 2017

Not vain enough

"Is that even possible?" Some of you close to this vainpot may wonder, reading this title. Heeheehee.

Afterall, I am a self-proclaimedaware one. The many habits I have due to this trait has been prevalent since I was a toddler (probably also when I was an infant but I haven't heard any anecdotal evidence, and I can't remember that far back, so let's just say it started since I was really conscious of my appearance). I have long since accepted that I care about how I look and present myself, and fully embrace that most of the time.

Those last few words are critical, because I have a theory: Not all vainpots are made equal. Some are more vain than others, and what we are vain about differs.

For instance, as much as I like to look good, most days than not, I barely bother with putting on much makeup on a daily basis - sure I do the basics like fill in my barely there brows, swipe on some lippie, and if I'm feeling diligent I will put on some eyeliner, just so I look presentable. To me that's basic courtesy to fellow humans around me, not even about looking good.

That's not the same as the next vainpot who spends half an hour or more in the morning to put on proper makeup, such that when you look at her in the morning, you see someone who takes proper pride in her appearance, and cares enough about how they look to actually devote time to beautify themselves.

By the same vein (hehehe) of logic, I care enough about makeup and sometimes fashion to make the effort on those fronts. But for the life of me, as much as I admire people who can style their hair in a variety of looks - curls, braids, buns, accessories etc, I can never quite muster up the effort to do anything about my hair, beyond what's practical or functional. I keep wanting to, because I think it always looks so chic whenever one puts just the merest effort with their tresses, but I never really get round to actually mastering anything elaborate.

There really isn't a rhyme or logic to this post, just my random musing inspired by my hair which was done for a recent dance performance, where I got it professionally styled, then looked at the results, and bemoaned my lack of interest to learn how to do this myself. "Not vain enough," I tsked. :o

Nice right?? Sigh



Wednesday, December 06, 2017

The delinquent daughter

Whenever I contemplate my relationship with the parentals and how it has evolved over the past thirty-something years, I always wonder if they feel shortchanged. Given the amount of time and effort they invested in me to ensure I have a good education, instilled values and morals that play a large part in formulating the person I am and how I relate to others, and always supported my interests and career/education choices, I wonder if they feel that they are not really getting enough back from me for all that.

I know parenthood doesn't quite work that way, but the parents do come from a generation who view children as somewhat of an investment, more so than what I think my peers expect generally. And while I do support them financially, I've never been a particularly affectionate child, nor do I confide or share much of my life with them - they are often kept on a "need to know" basis for most things happening. I've never brought them on a vacation, nor taken the time to interact with them beyond the usual sundry topics when we are together.

Part of the reason for that, is simply because that's pretty much how our family dynamics are - we have always been more reserved when it comes to showing care and concern. A larger part of it, however, probably stems from various incidences that occurred during my younger years, which left a streak of resentment running so deep that I still hold some level of grudge towards them. For not protecting me better, for not listening, for making me grow up way before I needed to. It all worked out well, but I guess there's a petty side of me that still can't really let go till now.

Now that we are all getting old(er), I am conscious of mortality, and the fact that at the end of the day, they did try their best, to act in my best interests. Parents are humans too, it's inevitable that they fail sometimes, or suffered lapses in judgment, but everything they do is always borne of love and a desire for my well-being. Perhaps it's time to let go of that last vestiges of wilfulness I hold, and be a better daughter to them than I have been, while I still can.

It wouldn't hurt to at least try.

Tuesday, December 05, 2017

Weekday drinks

espresso martinis
Girlfriend U and I have the worst luck trying to fix up dates sometimes. Fortunately or unfortunately, we are in the same line of work, which means that one's work day can quickly evolve from easy buzz to frantic busy in a matter of minutes. The only silver lining is that we are therefore able to empathise when either had to cancel at the last minute. :p

After a number of times where we took turns raincheck-ing catch-ups, we finally made it for a lovely evening of drinks, just in time to catch the sunset, no less! That in itself was worth having a drink or two over. Heh.

We were early enough to grab a table at Spago, with a clear view of the infinity pool, AND the sun setting over the CBD. Murphy was in a generous mood that day, I say. This place was bustling even on a normal weekday evening, with the crowd comprising a mix of tourists, hotel guests and the office workers from around the vicinity.

It was one of those evenings where drinks, snacks and conversation flowed quickly and smoothly, and three hours flew by before we noticed that it was time to adjourn.

This friendship with U sprung up in the most serendipitous manner: we met at a trade event, while she was on secondment here from her office based in Europe, and somehow we got to talking and hit it off. That random conversation eventuated in lunch the following week, and drinks the week after. We kept up with each other on texts and emails, had a couple more catch ups before her secondment ended after a couple of months. And then some three months later, a position opened up in Singapore, and just like that, she's now based here.

I am hardly one who makes new friends easily - I take forever to warm up to people most of the time, and couple that with this introvert personality and the security of my existing close-knit friendships, I never really saw the need to add more people into my life. Hence, I had surprised myself in how I was open to meeting up with her and developing this connection. I guess with the right people, the right vibes and chemistry, I can be bothered after all to make friends. Heeheehee. The main thing about her and a couple of other new friends I have now added to my life over the past years, was that you can sense a genuine interest to get to know me as a person, and not just the usual superficial schmoozing at play. These are the ones who say they want to catch up, and actually then make the effort to do so. While we all already have our closest and dearest circle of chums, we think of each other, and make the time to check in via texts or emails every now and then.

Such unexpected gems, that I am glad I kept an open mind to gain. :)

Splendid evening