(Audiobook) The Like Switch: How to win people over

Another audio book I enjoyed, The Like Switch was written by Dr. Jack Schafer, a former FBI Special Agent who specialised in behaviour analysis and recruitment of spies. This was essentially a handbook summarising his proven strategies on how to "instantly read people and influence how they perceive you, so you can easily turn on the like switch".

I wouldn't necessarily say this was a life changing reading experience, but it was certainly rivetting to listen to the narration of his various anecdotes illustrating the tips and tricks to subtly influence people to form positive perceptions about you. If you were a fan of tv series like "Lie to Me", "Criminal Minds" or even "House", which often delve into the human psyche and unravel how certain scenarios unfold, I think you will enjoy this book.

Funnily enough, the biggest "ah ha" moment for me in this reading was in a chapter examining how different personalities relate to others, and when it broke down why introverts can tend to prefer online interaction over face to face communications - or more specifically, with those over-exuberant hypersocial extroverts, hurhurhur.

Internet is introvert friendly - introverts disclose more information on social networks than they do in face to face encounters. This is because the internet format allows introverts sufficient time to meaningful responses. Introverts also experience difficulty initiating conversations, especially with strangers. Social networks eliminates this added social pressure, and also allows introverts to express themselves without constantly being interrupted by extroverts. 

Introverts are more willing to say what they really believe, not having to worry about direct exposure to negative feedback that can occur in face to face communication.

The Like Switch, Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins

Truth be told, I am not particularly fussed about making more people like me. Have come to terms rather early on in life that you can do everything you can to be righteous and nice, but you will never be able to please everyone. There will always be certain people who cast their own perceptions and choose to see you as the character they have already decided you are. Nonetheless, it was still an intriguing read and it does help me understand other personalities a little better.

(Audiobook) How to Manage Your Life: Lessons on adulting

I'm quite the sucker for self-help books, not so much to religiously apply the suggested tips on how I should live my life, but rather to gain new perspectives on things that otherwise would have been in my blind spot.

So it's no wonder that while perusing the selections available for an audiobook, the Harvard Business Review (HBR) series caught my eye, specifically one that centres on Managing Yourself. This book collates 10 HBR articles examining ways and means for one to be an effective, engaged and productive individual in your professional life. The articles touch on things like time/task management, leadership skills and techniques, an examination of resilience and how to develop it, as well as the importance of having a clear focus of what you want to achieve in this lifetime.

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this for completely different reasons to how I enjoyed the first audiobook I listened to. Each of these articles were written in concise but also lively and engaging styles, with well presented ideas that are easily comprehended.

One of my favourite ones has to be this one about task delegation, in which the author uses the analogy of a monkey on one's back to describe a task or problem that needs to be solved in the workplace. The article emphasizes how managers need to be mindful of how they delegate work to their subordinates, and how they address their associates' queries, such that their monkeys do not end up being transferred onto your back. The idea is that one needs to ensure that your subordinate takes ownership of the problem and solves it, not turn around and make it your problem instead, whereupon you will eventually be one loaded with the "monkeys" from your boss as well as your subordinate.

Why does all of this happen? Because in each instance the manager and the subordinate assume at the outset, wittingly or unwittingly, that the matter under consideration is a joint problem. The monkey in each case begins its career astride both their backs. All it has to do is move the wrong leg, and—presto!—the subordinate deftly disappears. The manager is thus left with another acquisition for his menagerie. Of course, monkeys can be trained not to move the wrong leg. But it is easier to prevent them from straddling backs in the first place.

HBR: Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey?

I was so enlightened and fascinated by this article that I started furiously jotting down notes to bear in mind. AB curiously asked what I was so engrossed in, and I gave him a summary of it, exclaiming, "This is so true! I have a tendency of letting these monkeys cross onto my back!" He shrugged, "No, it never happens to me, once I gave them the monkey, it's theirs and they are supposed to handle it. I don't expect to hear about it again." I gaped at him, "Don't you even ask for a report to let you know when the monkey is fixed?" He shook his head, gave me his classic steely stare and stated,"No. Once I delegate it, I already consider it done." Gulp. I suddenly had this visual of terrified monkeys scampering off his back as he flicked his finger to indicate their designated owners. :p

In any case, yet another book that was a pleasant one to "listen" to, kinda like the equivalent of TED talks or podcasts I guess, except I'm not the type to proactively search for those to listen, so it was quite interesting to listen to this series that gave some really good food for thought on how I can better myself in my career as it evolves and develops. Well, I guess I could ask AB for tips too, except I'm not so sure his methods will work for me as they had for him, very successfully too. Oof.

(Audiobook) Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes: You had me at the Prologue

Being a huge fan of reading, especially of physical hard copies of books, it took me a long time to warm to the concept of audio books. 

You see, I enjoy the whole process of reading almost as much as experiencing the story or the ideas presented by the author. I love having those words magically transform into scenes projected onto the screen of my mind, with imaginary voices bringing the dialogues to life, the product of another person's genius and imagination.

It's a magical, intimate world. 

As such, I had no inclination to listen to another person narrate these stories and taint the visuals I would have imagined myself. Where's the fun in that??

I did eventually try it out, via a trial offer* on Audible by Amazon, where you get to download one book of your choice, free of charge. What intrigued me was when I learnt that some of these books were actually being narrated by their authors. That piqued my interest. While I still wasn't interested in hearing the audio renditions of the fictional genres (what can I say, I prefer the sound of my own voice, hurhur), I thought it would be interesting to hear authors say the words they created, exactly the way they were intended to be conveyed, especially for biographies.

It didn't take much deliberation to decide on the free book I wanted to try - Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes.

This woman needs no introduction, at least to me. Mainly because I am no stranger to her productions, Grey's Anatomy and Scandal. Being a huge fan of the shows, I was enthralled by her storytelling prowess (although it took me a long time to forgive her for killing McDreamy :p), and was most keen to hear her in person, sharing her thoughts.

Little did I expect to enjoy the book as much as I would. Rhimes was indeed Queen of storytelling, and it was a joy to listen to her regale the reader/audience on how she decided to challenge herself to get out of her comfort zone and embrace life truly, by saying "Yes" to anything that terrified, challenged or taunted her, for a year.

It surprised me to learn that she was an extreme introvert, which probably also explained why I could identify with her on many of her accounts. Personally I am a borderline introvert everytime I take a test to see where I place on the spectrum, but those struggles she described, how she loved being the mastermind behind the scenes, yet just as easily lose her wits at any prospect where she is put in the spotlight, are experiences that hit home for me as well.

With her witty narration, I could almost feel that same gripping fear each time she took on a challenge - making the commencement speech at her Dartmouth, her alma mater (I wondered briefly if that was why Meredith Grey was from there, hehe), going on the Jimmy Kimmel show, being interviewed by Oprah. Introverts hate being shoved onto centrestage - we relish doing the work behind getting people there, or quietly observing from the sidelines, but we just don't have that desire to be the one being focussed on. Heh. That said, I was also cheered by how she learnt and grew from each experience when she delivered, and the satisfaction from seeing the value she brought to others from it.

It was a truly engaging experience that was such a treat, the closest to actually being in the brain of someone whose talent and mind you admire so much. It definitely changed my impression of audiobooks, such that I am happy to make them a regular feature, not as a substitute for reading, but simply another type of pastime that is a delight to me.

These words in her prologue got me hard, explained exactly the dilemma I face when I write or post anything relating to my mushy soft heart or idealistic dreamy brain. I have to admit, I was already sold after reading that introduction.

"Writing about myself feels a lot like I have just decided to stand up on a table at a very proper restaurant, raise my dress and show everyone that I'm not wearing panties.  

That is to say, it feels shocking.  

It puts the bits of me that I usually keep to myself on display. 

Naughty bits. Secret bits. 

See, I am an introvert. Deep. To the bone. My marrow is introvert marrow. My snot is introvert snot. Every cell in my body screams continuously at me with every word I type that writing this book is an unnatural act.  

A lady never shows her soul outside the boudoir." 

Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes

*Quick note though, if you would like to try this out. It is an opt-out trial, which requires you to set up a monthly membership account to utilise the freebie, and upon the end of the first month, you need to actively cancel the subscription if you don't wish to continue. Otherwise you will be auto-credited every month with a credit to download any book of your choice, with a fixed amount charged to your credit card. Don't say I never say ah.