I took some time to sit down at a cafe with a lovely kopi-o-siu-dai and the laptop to prepare for some upcoming meetings. Exciting meetings that present a bright light at the end of an increasingly claustrophobic feeling tunnel. Some days I rush along my tasks, focusing on value I can deliver so I don't get swallowed up by negativity, some days just feel so long and heavy, that I entertain the thought of just running away first to get myself out of the angst.
I realise that with age, I am no longer that carefree soul who just exits when she deems her current situation no longer viable in the long term. I have learnt to bode my time, calculate the pros and cons, and conclude that it's best to stay the course and just do more to help my case. I still continually work on delivering the best that I can, but I also do so without anymore inclination to find the next steps in this path. I will stay for as long as I can, but no longer than that.
On the other hand, this current opportunity feels like a refreshing gust of sunshine-infused breeze, reminding me of how I'd felt at the beginning of this dying journey. Energised, motivated, full of positive vibes. It's not just a potential ticket for my next destination, but also one that I truly am amped to get onto.
That's how my constant state should be, not the occasional bursts of satisfaction from being appreciated or seeing the value of my efforts.
Let's see then. :)
|Fragrant black coffee and my trusty Air. :)|
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