Apprendre le français

Another area that I was pretty stoked to have sharpened my consistency and focus on was my French learning journey: I started some 8 years ago but was always sporadic with my practice, hence the progress was at snail pace for the most of the years. It was only in 2021 that I finally decided I needed to commit to daily practice and started French lessons on Duolingo. 

Besides the convenience factor, the modules were pretty terrific in covering practical topics that were relevant for most daily conversations, and it felt like a more constructive use of my time versus scrolling on social media or playing mindless games. Heh. I is proud that I've done daily lessons for 602 days now. Woohoo. 

It was over these past two Christmas that I truly got to test out my progress, given that AH is native French but speaks very fluent English, but his parents are much more conversant in French than any other languages. While I am pleased that we definitely understand each other better and can hold more conversations, many times when they start to go hard and fast on their dining table discussions, I still get lost. Conversely when I'm trying to string together more nuanced sentences, my limited vocabulary (or tragic pronunciation) fails me and AH had to step in as interpreter on both sides, and it can get a little frustrating. 

I guess it's time to start exploring more structured or in-person classes again to really brush up on my conversational abilities, to hopefully further improve in communication with the family. 

The goal for this year is to improve fluency enough to have less lag in formulating my replies in conversations, and get to a level of familiarity where I can understand perhaps 80% of daily conversations. NB: NOT including political discussions, haha. That is another ball game entirely.

My inner Hermione is pleased. Hehe.

炒虾面！

尽管之前提过不敢干涉家婆的厨房，看她餐餐一人包办，心里实在很过意不去。家翁和老公其实也时常帮忙，但主要的烹饪还是她的负担。

原本以为我至少能烘一粒我最拿手的面包与他们分享，但没料到欧洲的气温与潮湿度与新加坡天渊之别，结果面包彻底地失败，以悲剧收场。🙎

一天在超市看到些亚洲食品的摆放，家婆心血来潮对一包包的生面起兴, 打算买来准备一餐。既然我对中餐还有多些把握，于是自告奋勇的自荐准备那一餐。

虽然欧洲超市的亚洲食品有限，但所幸炒虾面基本的材料还够普遍，所以都一一购齐：大虾，豆芽，蒜头，酱清，麻油。

下厨当天，刚好家翁家婆有些事务需要出门处理，让我能自在地应用整个厨房来下菜，省得他们义务帮忙，也省了我不少压力。老公有询问是否需要他的协助，但我也推辞了：毕竟，我还挺享受烹饪的过程，而食谱也堪简单，独自准备整个过程真的是悠游自得，嘿。

家婆买的虾已煮熟，所以可省些时间。但我还是把虾头与虾壳拔出，用来煮上汤让面能入味。生面简单地依照包装上的指示先用沸水煮到七分熟，加点麻油放一边待用。最费时的是把豆芽去根：好久没应用豆芽，还真忘了这步骤有多耗时，但繁琐其中还有些莫名的乐趣。当一切齐全，只需用些热油把蒜蓉爆香，加入豆芽，上汤，生面与少许的酱清，差不多煮熟时加入虾一起搅匀，简单的炒虾面就可上卓。

我原本也想买包菜萝卜清炒当配菜，但家婆兴致勃勃地提议买冷冻的亚式炒菜，想说能省些准备功夫，我想也无妨。但当我把冷冻的蔬菜下锅时，才察觉蔬菜已经过酱料处理，并且味道偏甜，实在是我不太喜爱的味道。于是我临时变通，额外加入些前天买的味增，顺便让对这食材好奇的家婆尝尝。

那么简单的一道午餐摆上桌，一家四口静静地吃完。还好最后他们都还像蛮享受的，算是成功！我也总算贡献了一餐，让多劳的家婆能轻松半天，我能做的也就有限于此 。既然我还算证明了自己有些基本功夫，或许下次多做些计划与准备，再帮忙煮多几餐亚式菜肴与他们分享吧!

欧洲煮虾面，别有一番滋味

9 days of posts!

And just like that, I've managed to post for 9 consecutive days on this space, a week straight plus a bit more. Yay! 

Taking advantage of the slight lull in my schedule while on partial vacation, to settle into this routine. 

Compared to the last time I've attempted this in 2017, it somehow feels much more manageable this time around. It's like I've flipped a switch and finally learnt to manage my chaotic mind a little better and get less overwhelmed when thinking of what to write about - typically, a few topics would come up, I would do a quick shortlist, then just go. Type it up, read through, edit, finalise, set schedule for publication, done. 

It's a refreshing change from deliberating over and over, going back and forth in circles in never-ending analysis of which topic would work best. Often, before I reach a conclusion, I'd already be exhausted and defeated, then nothing gets written. Zzz. I *think* I've found a way to circumvent that after all these years and attained a "blogging peace" of sorts. I'm so pleased. 

Perhaps all that mindfulness practice is actually paying off. :) 

It is still early days yet, but so far it feels good, comfortable, not unlike catching up with an old friend whom I've always cared about but lost touch with for a while as we both got preoccupied with other life stuff that got in the way. Now we've found each other again, and it's like no time has gone by. 

I've certainly missed writing, and am enjoying setting aside time to do this, as part of my daily agenda now. 

Look at me adulting, making time for things that matter. 😎

It's been said that "self-praise is no praise", but who cares? Whatever works, and I have enough self-parenting experience to know I thrive on affirmations that are well-deserved, as much as I appreciate constructive criticism. Heh. 

See you tomorrow, and the day after, and the days after. 

Recounting 2022: Rekindling life

For a couple years now, in addition to a list of aspirations/resolutions I set at the beginning of each year, I've also reflected and decided on a word for the year. It's a theme of sorts that also aligned said list, to zoom in on what I wanted to priortise for that year. 

For last year, the word that resonated with me the most, was "Rekindle". That was what I wanted to focus on, as several areas in my life felt stagnant and stuck in a rut. Nothing was in dire states, but I had been feeling an increasing restlessless, not completely unrelated to the widespread sentiment of "languish" linked to the ongoing global pandemic, which apparently many in the world were experiencing.

Boy, did the universe hear me and decide to help me out in achieving that, in nearly all areas of my life.

Career wise, I had taken a leap of faith to accept a new position in November 2021 which was not a career switch per se, but a specialist role rather than the generalist function I had established my résumé on for the most part of my career. However, this change felt right, and over the course of the year, my decision was further affirmed by all the projects and tasks I undertook. I got to hone various skills that I'd wanted to but didn't have the resources nor time for in my previous positions. The team I was in was incredible, with every single colleague being amazing team players, and who all genuinely like and respect one another, with leadership that not only values each member's individual strengths, but constantly nurtures and provides opportunity catered to each of our best interests. A year in, I am motivated and enjoy my work much more than I've had in a long time.

On the relationship front, I've already touched on that in the year summary so I won't go into much more details, but suffice to say that I've gotten to repair several failings and potholes in some key relationships, and also devoted more time and attention to friendships that have taken the backseat while everyone withdrew into a hermit-like existence over the past years. I certainly learnt that rather than an anti-social whom I had self-identified as for years, I was really a selective-social. I don't like all humans, but there are specific individuals whom I love very much and will ration much more time for, as opposed to superficial socialities that I have extremely finite patience towards. 

For personal interests and development, I finally decided to stop procrastination and multitasking, and properly spend time on two things for recreation/exercise: dance, which I've always loved but kinda dropped off; and cycling, which I finally started to get the hang of some 7 years ago, but never properly worked on. For dance, I devoted time to the most preferred dance styles, taking technical classes and also going for socials to just enjoy the dance. I also ventured into a new genre which has brought much pleasure and fun into my regime. For cycling, I've started from the foldie to commute bike and graduated to being able to ride comfortably on my road bike, with my target average of 30km/h achieved by year end. Huge pats on my own back, if I do say so myself. 😁

With all KPIs on target, I'm rather pleased to declare Rekindle a wild success. 

On to the next chapter. Word of the year for 2023? 

Nurture.

Let's go. :)

Proudest: I can do hard things.

New(ish) year, old me

Not sure if it's just the demographics of my peers (ie aging ajummas like me), but increasingly, I've been noticing a trend of fatigue towards the whole "new year, new me" phenomena that used to be so popular everytime the year ends/starts. 

As the title of this post suggests, I'm still obstinately in the whole "review the past year, and set new resolutions" mindset. In fact I tend to do a "big" review twice a year, probably because my birthday falls nicely in the mid-year point and that's another time that I like to reflect on what I have achieved and set new goals (or refresh old ones) for the rest of the calendar or birth year. 

The main change I have observed in myself though, is more grace and kindness in accepting when I don't always achieve everything I set out to accomplish; or allowing myself to set the same priorities year after year. Simply put, the things that are important to me are not likely to change over time, the main thing that I try to change up now is to try and vary my approach, to troubleshoot what hasn't worked before. 

So true to my form, here are the key resolutions I have set myself for the (not so) new year:

- Staying active: Keeping the momentum of healthy habits I have set for myself for daily activity, gradually increasing my daily steps target (have upped that from 10k to 11k earlier this year), rebuild the strength I've lost from slacking off due to various issues the past years, and achieve some performance goals like doing at least 1 pull up and achieving a full split by the end of the year.

- Social connections: Quality > quantity as always. I've fallen off on keeping in touch with some close friends over the whole pandemic period which was strange overall for everyone, and am looking to rekindle some of these friendships while also reinforcing some newer friendships that have been magically forged in recent years too.

- Interests: Keep putting time into things I love and enjoy doing, with greater consistency but also more reasonable targets. Trying to do everything all at once just never worked for me so I really should recognise that I am not a bot who can fully utilise every minute of every waking hour. Haha. A couple of these include writing, music, dance and yoga. Did I say I was trying to be realistic?? Ah well, let's see how we go. 

- Self development: Setting some targets for myself to learn and improve my skills and knowledge too. Professionally I would like to learn to develop better project management and leadership skills, and fortuitously I'm actually in a place that this is something I have room, space and support to do that. Personally it's probably more in the crafting and language arena, the former for pleasure and the latter for utility in picking up that third language of French to better converse with the man and his family/friends. 

That's the main bulk of it, I think. Like I said, the key thing I'm trying to change this year is to be more specific on how I plan to fulfill these, but with a huge dose of patience - it doesn't matter if I start later than expected - the most important thing is to actually start, then keep it up. Hence me sharing this only now - I'm allowing my "year" to start proper in Q2, with the first 3 months as erm, warm up. Time is relative anyway right? Heehee. 

Let's see how we go this year. With luck you may actually get a review of this on this space in December this year. Excited. :) 

too smooth

I've always prided myself on being quite a "gritty" individual, who is resilient and adaptable to change.

After all, most things I've achieved in my nearly 40 years of existence have been accomplished through working hard and putting in the effort and sticking with the end goal in mind. I could barely remember any incidence where anything was handed to me on a platter. Mind you, I say that with no measure of resentment though (well maybe just a teeny bit). I love that I have the drive to be what I want to be, to be able to say that I've worked for nearly everything, material or not, that I have.

Lately however, I keep feeling that grit smoothening out. It's like what happens to sandpaper when you keep using it - even the toughest ones will lose that abrasiveness. It just seems more and more like a chore to muster up that "hustle", quieten the ever rambling mind and just zero in on what needs to be done, step by step, task by task.

It's just too easy to let the cheeky procrastination monkeys take over and rampage all over the overcrowded to-dos packed in this tiny brain of mine.

It's a battle that I used to win much more easily, this internal fight between the sensible adult and the petulant child. How is it that as I get older, that inner brat seems to be triumphing over the inner voice of reason? TSK.

It's almost like I've achieved that outer level of ultimate Zen, where nothing fazes me. Not even when time is running out and I have a trillion things to do.

I need to rekindle that sense of mild panic, if only for the purpose of spurring me into actual action, and not just idly watching and deciding to settle for less - achieve less, do less, care less.

Guess that's that infamous mid-life crisis?

It's no way to live, all that time wasted away on meaningless drivel when it could have been utilised either doing activities that actually bring joy, or improve oneself. Time is no longer a luxury and I really need to learn to use it more prudently.

When all the previously tried and tested methods to beat this inner evil sloth fail, it simply means it's time to try out some new approaches and motivational methods.

Not giving up. You can hide, but I will find you, grit. And have fun doing it. Just you wait.

See you, eventually, if not soon. 

refreshed mantra

"Do what makes you happy."

"Live the life you love."

"Love the life you live."

Yada yada yada.

Simple enough statements, that seem to distill that basic human instinct for the pursuit of happiness.

That, would be the key objective which one strives towards, I guess?

Of course, there are various deeper questions behind this: what makes you happy, how do you define happiness, and how do you (or should you) draw a line between hedonistic pleasures versus altruistic satisfaction from doing good for others and the society, etc.

Ultimately, it still comes down to living a life with purpose. Not just knowing what you want to do or accomplish, but that these goals are aligned with one's values and priorities in life.

That, is what I need to reflect and recalibrate my life on.

Note from the future

Only because I'm doing my usual stunt of back-dating this post. Ha. The actual date I am writing this is.. shamefully, 4 June 2017. Eeps.

I am so behind that it's not even remotely funny. UGH.

Contemplating the amount I need to catch up on (erm well, only 2.5 months and counting..!), the heart sank a little, but at the same time, I accept that I am the only person who can be responsible for hitting or missing these self-imposed goals. Sure, I allowed life to get in the way, and I definitely have the easy option of just binning the original plan to have daily posts, and resume from wherever I presently am right now. But I am still unwilling to do that, yet. Simply because when I dig deep into the depths of my procrastinating heart, I know that I have not tried my best yet.

So there. This is my Xth attempt at catching back up on my daily posts. I might succeed this time, I might not, but at the very least I know I'm gonna make a better effort at achieving it. It's all about time management - the one key skill I am determined to get better, much much better at doing this year.

Wish me luck, and hopefully one day in the not too distant future, you will see a post published on the date that it was meant for. :p

Happy day!

A piece of most uplifting news arrived in my inbox today. I could barely contain my grin or jubilance. 

A new chapter awaits. Filled with hope, sunshine, and a refreshing breeze. 

I know it will not be all peaches and cream, of course. There will be plenty of challenges and lots of learning involved. I need to reset some of the things I had gotten a familiar grasp on, and rehone the senses to gain new sets of knowledge, establish new networks and relationships. 

All a tad daunting, but also so exciting too.

:D

I can't wait, but in the meantime, I need to close the preceding chapter and make sure that's done nicely, gracefully and graciously. Because I wouldn't and couldn't do it any other way. 

That's all I can say for now, but more will be revealed in time. Stay tuned!  

Homemade apple cake!

AB's mum is quite the quintessential domestic goddess that I couldn't even dream of becoming. I had witnessed her prowess as a hostess in Luxumbourg, keeping her home in tip top condition while cooking and preparing a dizzying amount of food with barely any repetition. I should also mention that for lunch and dinner nearly everyday that we were there, she prepared three different versions of dishes, to cater to varying nutritional and dietary needs. Impressive is an understatement to describe her aptitude as a hostess.

Here on vacation, she declared leisurely over breakfast that she felt like baking a cake. "Nothing complicated," she said, just a "simple apple cake" for us to have for tea one of these days. She waved her hands dismissively, "I will get some ingredients from the supermarket, just show me what you have in the kitchen."

O_O That was the moment I knew how far away I was from her on the dom-goddess scale. I can't imagine ever thinking of baking anything during a vacation. Not even slapping spoonfuls of ready-made cookie dough onto a baking sheet and chucking it into an oven. Baking are special projects I embark on as assignments for myself once in a very blue moon. If I could, I would probably have shrank into a tiny kitchen elf and slunk away in dejection at my unworthiness.

But I don't animate (thankfully), so I just gave a weak smile and showed her where the flour, sugar and scale were. She smiled, "Cést parfait! I will get the rest." She winked.

And so a few days later, we had this beautiful cake sitting on the dining table. A generous piece was cut and served to me. The aroma of the apples reached my nose as I lifted the first bite to my mouth, and the cake tasted gorgeous. It wasn't very sweet at all, which was perfect, and the chunks of Granny Smiths lent a nice balance with its subtle tartness too. This was a cake made with pleasure and I was almost certain I could taste that, too. The coffee and conversations that afternoon around the table were the perfect accompaniment to it.

When I gushed my appreciation, she helpfully wrote down the recipe for it - four ingredients in total, and really straightforward measurements too. Alright, it looks doable enough - I might just make it one of my special projects this year.

(Audiobook) How to Manage Your Life: Lessons on adulting

I'm quite the sucker for self-help books, not so much to religiously apply the suggested tips on how I should live my life, but rather to gain new perspectives on things that otherwise would have been in my blind spot.

So it's no wonder that while perusing the selections available for an audiobook, the Harvard Business Review (HBR) series caught my eye, specifically one that centres on Managing Yourself. This book collates 10 HBR articles examining ways and means for one to be an effective, engaged and productive individual in your professional life. The articles touch on things like time/task management, leadership skills and techniques, an examination of resilience and how to develop it, as well as the importance of having a clear focus of what you want to achieve in this lifetime.

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this for completely different reasons to how I enjoyed the first audiobook I listened to. Each of these articles were written in concise but also lively and engaging styles, with well presented ideas that are easily comprehended.

One of my favourite ones has to be this one about task delegation, in which the author uses the analogy of a monkey on one's back to describe a task or problem that needs to be solved in the workplace. The article emphasizes how managers need to be mindful of how they delegate work to their subordinates, and how they address their associates' queries, such that their monkeys do not end up being transferred onto your back. The idea is that one needs to ensure that your subordinate takes ownership of the problem and solves it, not turn around and make it your problem instead, whereupon you will eventually be one loaded with the "monkeys" from your boss as well as your subordinate.

Why does all of this happen? Because in each instance the manager and the subordinate assume at the outset, wittingly or unwittingly, that the matter under consideration is a joint problem. The monkey in each case begins its career astride both their backs. All it has to do is move the wrong leg, and—presto!—the subordinate deftly disappears. The manager is thus left with another acquisition for his menagerie. Of course, monkeys can be trained not to move the wrong leg. But it is easier to prevent them from straddling backs in the first place.

HBR: Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey?

I was so enlightened and fascinated by this article that I started furiously jotting down notes to bear in mind. AB curiously asked what I was so engrossed in, and I gave him a summary of it, exclaiming, "This is so true! I have a tendency of letting these monkeys cross onto my back!" He shrugged, "No, it never happens to me, once I gave them the monkey, it's theirs and they are supposed to handle it. I don't expect to hear about it again." I gaped at him, "Don't you even ask for a report to let you know when the monkey is fixed?" He shook his head, gave me his classic steely stare and stated,"No. Once I delegate it, I already consider it done." Gulp. I suddenly had this visual of terrified monkeys scampering off his back as he flicked his finger to indicate their designated owners. :p

In any case, yet another book that was a pleasant one to "listen" to, kinda like the equivalent of TED talks or podcasts I guess, except I'm not the type to proactively search for those to listen, so it was quite interesting to listen to this series that gave some really good food for thought on how I can better myself in my career as it evolves and develops. Well, I guess I could ask AB for tips too, except I'm not so sure his methods will work for me as they had for him, very successfully too. Oof.

Never give up

Quote of the Day:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right.” 

― Henry Ford

Nobody can tell you that you can't do something, yourself included. :)

Pep talk

Hey you, yes you. How's everything?

What are you not happy with right now? What are your dreams?

Well, if you want to be better, or different, you know that you will never get there if you just maintain status quo, and do what you used to, right?

So, what are you waiting for then? Keep those eyes firmly locked on where you want to go, and start working to get there. NOW.

Don't expect to get there in a second, a day, a week or even a month. If you have set your sights high enough, which you should, because you CAN achieve so much more, then it makes sense that it takes time to get to where you are aiming to go.

The key is to never give up, look far, but acknowledge every inch of progress. And one day, you can look back and realise that indeed, nothing is really unattainable, if you try hard enough, and refuse to settle for less.

Be bold, dig deep, stay strong. See you at the finish line. :)

One full month of blogging!

This post marks a full month of blogging, and I'm pretty stoked at accomplishing that.

Considering that in all my years of posting, I've never managed to publish a post for every day consecutively in a month, it's quite a breakthrough for me. :D

Whiee, so pumped!! :)))) I am really enjoying this, and hoping to keep the practice up. Of course, it's no secret that I was only able to achieve this thanks to blogger's fantastic feature of allowing me to post-date/schedule my blogs, but the end result is that I managed to stick to it and write 31 posts for 31 days, so I'm adamant that it still counts. Hurhurhur.

Am still working on catching up on all my backlog posts, so hopefully I can get back on track soon and be able to actually publish the post ON the intended scheduled date. *sheepish grin*

The one thing that really humbled me through this entire "blog resurrection" exercise is how supportive all my lovely close friends have been - from setting up a feed so that they receive notifications when I post (?!?!), to sharing tips on how they manage to post daily for years and years now, to commenting and replying to my posts regularly (or as much as I post, ahem), it amazes me that these darlings care enough about me, and my writing to actually check in AND read what I write.

The most incredible part: they even tell me they like my writing! That's a tremendous boost to my morale - I know I have a certain grasp of the language, but most of the time, I'm just rambling on and unloading my thoughts into these posts in the way that makes the most sense to me. I do delight in refining my phrases and words such that they best convey what I want to say, and it's most heartening to know that those words bring others pleasure as well when they read it.

You all know who you are, thank you so, so, so much. : ) You have no idea how much your unquestioning support means to me. I only hope to get better, and make your reading experience more enjoyable as well.

P.S: Sorry, didn't mean to make this sound like an Academy award speech! *bows and hurries off the imaginary stage of Ego*

Theme 2017: Control

I'm one of those annoying individuals who start the year with a hefty list of resolutions, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to conquer the world (or just my tiny little one). That said, I say with some degree of pride that I also belong to that minority who actually managed to achieve most of their resolutions. Not all of them of course - I like to aim high, so it's inevitable that some things will fall short despite my best intentions.

I haven't always been that successful though. One main reason behind the great hit rate in recent years is a new(ish) habit I have cultivated of setting a theme of sorts for the year in recent years. The process of determining a key focus helps me to identify the main changes I wanted to effect in various aspects of my life, and sets the tone for my resolutions. It helped to keep me focused and on track to achieve most of what I'd like to improve on in the ever-ongoing journey of bettering myself.

First, a quick recap of the year past. Like I've mentioned before, 2016 was all about mindfulness, and while I have made some good progress on that front, it is still very much work-in-progress and something I am continually trying to get better at. To accomplish that, I decided that I needed to really centre in on my key weakness, and that's how theme 2017 was borne - "Control".

Ah, control. That one thing that I crave and dread at the same time. I confess that it's what I battle with on a daily, if not hourly basis. It can be exasperating having the countless debates with that lazy delinquent sloppy inner me who is probably eternally 3 years old, only wanting to play and not do anything constructive every second of the day. On the other end of the spectrum, I feel so awesomely invincible on days when I am truly in my element, breezing through all the plans I had set out to do, sparing nary a glance at distractions that threaten to derail my goals. Those days, I feel so powerful I could almost feel the wing beneath my wings.

Yet, all too often I lose that tug of war, and wind up feeling defeated and resentful for my failures, most sore because it was all me and nothing else that hindered my progress. UGH. It truly sucks to feel like I've squandered precious hours or days that could have been of so much more value than doing mindless bimbo stuff, or just, nothing.

I guess the one positive quality I can credit my inner spoilt brat is that it certainly is strong-willed. :p

Anyways. That's that. And I'm rather tired of feeling like I'm wasting my life away, simply due to my character defect, and not because I am actually incapable of achieving those aims. So there, I have committed 2017 to seriously declaring war on that si gi na - I am too old for this shit. And there's too much I want to do.

Take that, 2017. I will win this one. ;)