年夜饭

今年年夜饭，妈妈下厨，简单但丰盛。

帝王鸡，烧肉，五香，鱼柳，肉骨茶，清炒冬粉。

五人围桌，人数熟悉但也感觉陌生。

但如往的气氛最终没变：琐碎的话题，时不时的冷笑话，分析来年各家人生肖的运程，打包剩菜时的讨价还价。

家，就如此。幸福，珍惜。

有鱼有肉有菜，样样齐全

Apprendre le français

Another area that I was pretty stoked to have sharpened my consistency and focus on was my French learning journey: I started some 8 years ago but was always sporadic with my practice, hence the progress was at snail pace for the most of the years. It was only in 2021 that I finally decided I needed to commit to daily practice and started French lessons on Duolingo. 

Besides the convenience factor, the modules were pretty terrific in covering practical topics that were relevant for most daily conversations, and it felt like a more constructive use of my time versus scrolling on social media or playing mindless games. Heh. I is proud that I've done daily lessons for 602 days now. Woohoo. 

It was over these past two Christmas that I truly got to test out my progress, given that AH is native French but speaks very fluent English, but his parents are much more conversant in French than any other languages. While I am pleased that we definitely understand each other better and can hold more conversations, many times when they start to go hard and fast on their dining table discussions, I still get lost. Conversely when I'm trying to string together more nuanced sentences, my limited vocabulary (or tragic pronunciation) fails me and AH had to step in as interpreter on both sides, and it can get a little frustrating. 

I guess it's time to start exploring more structured or in-person classes again to really brush up on my conversational abilities, to hopefully further improve in communication with the family. 

The goal for this year is to improve fluency enough to have less lag in formulating my replies in conversations, and get to a level of familiarity where I can understand perhaps 80% of daily conversations. NB: NOT including political discussions, haha. That is another ball game entirely.

My inner Hermione is pleased. Hehe.

Carpe diem

Because sunny days are so rare in winter Luxembourg, you really make the most of it when the sky clears up.

No time to procrastinate. Hurry up, change and bolt out the door. 

This was the best weather I had throughout the entire stay, 3 days before I leave. Heh. AH, les beaux parents and me took a look at that sky from the dining table after lunch, swiftly got up, changed and were out in 10 minutes, record time.

Really teaches one to savour the moments and not waste a single minute. 💖

Rare blue skies

💙

This sign tickled me so much

Love the outline of the botak trees

Special mission: The chocolate cake do-over

A week after the fake chocolate cake fiasco, the dear MIL was still rather sore about it, and explained to me the rationale for her disappointment: the family loves chocolate, and as they rarely partake in cakes except for festive celebrations, having a nice chocolate cake is a special pleasure that they look forward to on such occasions. 

For Christmas, the brother-in-law had gotten a cake from a famed patisserie near where he lives, and while it was delicious, it was a light vanilla cream cake, so the in-laws were already slightly disappointed. No matter, there was still New Year's, they consoled themselves. 

So when the MIL had taken pains to verify with the sales assistant that the cake she had her eye on was a chocolate one, only to find out that the only chocolate it contained were the four slabs on the outside of the cake, she was really upset. She even took photos and went back to the bakery to voice her displeasure. 

Oops. 

On the last day of this trip, I detoured to the same patisserie as that was their favourite after all, barring the whole drama, and procured 4 individual slices of chocolate cakes for us to share. Nobody could stomach a full cake after all the feasting over the past weeks, but I figured that it would at least make up for the disappointment which had marred the celebrations ever so slightly. 

The way my bellemere's eyes shone when we told her we bought cakes for dessert was so worth the effort. "Chocolat!!" she exclaimed excitedly with joy. Haha.

It was fitting to end our last meal together with that delicious dessert. Sweet and complete. 

Chocolate is a necessity of life

Final cheesy meal

For the final full day of my trip, it was yet another sad rainy day, which also called for the perfect wet weather lunch that required minimal cooking or prep time: Fondue! Another meal that in-laws knew I missed out on in Savoie and were determined to make up for me. Haha. I certainly have no objections over having yummy cheese. 

Bread cut into bite-sized pieces, charcuterie, a big green salad and some cornichons on the side, and of course that large hearty pot of cheese mixed with wine. It was divine. 

If it seems like all I did was eat, eat and eat some more on this trip, you are certainly not far from the truth. Mealtimes here are all about conversations and companionship though, so I'd like to think that they are more bonding exercises than simply acts of gluttony, with the added benefit of French listening comprehension practice for me, heh. All very constructive.

At least that's my story and I am sticking to it. 😇

More cheese, why not.

炒虾面！

尽管之前提过不敢干涉家婆的厨房，看她餐餐一人包办，心里实在很过意不去。家翁和老公其实也时常帮忙，但主要的烹饪还是她的负担。

原本以为我至少能烘一粒我最拿手的面包与他们分享，但没料到欧洲的气温与潮湿度与新加坡天渊之别，结果面包彻底地失败，以悲剧收场。🙎

一天在超市看到些亚洲食品的摆放，家婆心血来潮对一包包的生面起兴, 打算买来准备一餐。既然我对中餐还有多些把握，于是自告奋勇的自荐准备那一餐。

虽然欧洲超市的亚洲食品有限，但所幸炒虾面基本的材料还够普遍，所以都一一购齐：大虾，豆芽，蒜头，酱清，麻油。

下厨当天，刚好家翁家婆有些事务需要出门处理，让我能自在地应用整个厨房来下菜，省得他们义务帮忙，也省了我不少压力。老公有询问是否需要他的协助，但我也推辞了：毕竟，我还挺享受烹饪的过程，而食谱也堪简单，独自准备整个过程真的是悠游自得，嘿。

家婆买的虾已煮熟，所以可省些时间。但我还是把虾头与虾壳拔出，用来煮上汤让面能入味。生面简单地依照包装上的指示先用沸水煮到七分熟，加点麻油放一边待用。最费时的是把豆芽去根：好久没应用豆芽，还真忘了这步骤有多耗时，但繁琐其中还有些莫名的乐趣。当一切齐全，只需用些热油把蒜蓉爆香，加入豆芽，上汤，生面与少许的酱清，差不多煮熟时加入虾一起搅匀，简单的炒虾面就可上卓。

我原本也想买包菜萝卜清炒当配菜，但家婆兴致勃勃地提议买冷冻的亚式炒菜，想说能省些准备功夫，我想也无妨。但当我把冷冻的蔬菜下锅时，才察觉蔬菜已经过酱料处理，并且味道偏甜，实在是我不太喜爱的味道。于是我临时变通，额外加入些前天买的味增，顺便让对这食材好奇的家婆尝尝。

那么简单的一道午餐摆上桌，一家四口静静地吃完。还好最后他们都还像蛮享受的，算是成功！我也总算贡献了一餐，让多劳的家婆能轻松半天，我能做的也就有限于此 。既然我还算证明了自己有些基本功夫，或许下次多做些计划与准备，再帮忙煮多几餐亚式菜肴与他们分享吧!

欧洲煮虾面，别有一番滋味

Au cinéma avec la niece

We surprised the niece one day with a trip to the cinema, where AH and I took on the babysitting duties. 

The film of choice, "Ernest et Celestine: Le voyage en Charabie" was the latest in a series of movies based on a French children's literature of the same name. The protagonists of the story were a grumpy musician bear Ernest and his best friend, an ever optimistic and artistic mouse Celestine. The stories centre around their adventures, into which were woven real life issues related to values, morals and even some political discourse. Très français. This latest movie saw the pair venture back to Charabie where Ernest was from, to find a master who can repair his violin which was damaged by accident. Quite a fun and entertaining watch, with the graphics very much based off the original illustrations used in the books - all those rustic and muted colours were such a pleasure to the eyes. 

This being a European cinema meant that there were no English nor even French subtitles accompanying the movie, but I was pretty stoked that I could understand most the dialogues, thanks to the consistent practice on my Duolingo app the past year and a half. Heh. 

The little girl was delighted to be in the theatre, but even more so to spend time with her uncle, whom she adores, which isn't surprising since he dotes on her immensely too and the two have the same ruckus level energy when they play/fight/dance. 

For the first ten minutes that we were in the hall, it seemed like we booked out the entire space for ourselves, so we had fun taking some goofy shots too. Cute memories to remember before she becomes too grown up to express such unbridled joy and wonder. :)

Adorbs

Silly faces

Pretense>reality

Raclette!

The in-laws are the sweetest - when they heard that I didn't get to have raclette while in the Alps on vacation back in September (the woes of solo travelling - most restaurants' servings for this dish are for minimum 2 persons), they took note and made sure I got to have it while here. Love.

So lunch it was, perfect for the grey rainy weather that day. Heh. 

The French are genious at coming up with various dishes that are essentially different permutation of cheese and potatoes, two of my favourite foods. Yumm. The nifty apparatus that allow each diner to melt individual slices of cheese and pour them over cold cuts and boiled potatoes is simply genious. A huge bowl of salad was the perfect complement to all that rich decadence, not forgetting a delicious bottle of Apremont from the Savoie region. Mmm.

It came as no surprise that we all needed a petite sieste to recover from the food coma after the meal before waking up for a walk in the crisp cool air after the rain finally stopped. Very balanced day, indeed. 😉 

The quiet last dinner for 2022

While the dinner for Christmas Eve was filled with chaotic joy and fun, with an additional invited guest and the brother-in-law's family that included the funloving 8-year-old niece, New Year's Eve dinner was a much more subdued affair, but enjoyable nonetheless.

It was a quiet dinner for four, and the MIL delighted in changing the table settings, swopping the table linen from white to a gorgeous black, an elegant and striking contrast to all the champagne gold decor and place settings. 

In place of a dance party fiesta, we played a more laidback but still upbeat playlist. It was pretty cool to see the in-laws, inspired by a news program earlier that morning extolling the benefits of songs and dance to one's life, busting out some moves and simply enjoying moving to the rhythm and beats with pure joy and little care. 

Food was kept to the usual festive favourites:  trio of aperitifs, pâte en coûte, foie gras, followed by steak with mushrooms and sweet potato purée, cheese and a delicious hazelnut cake. There was a moment of chagrin when we discovered that the cake had barely any chocolate (safe for the scant four pieces around the sides of the gâteau), but we ultimately decided not to focus on that for the evening, and simply revel in each other's company. 

As the clock struck 12, officially stepping us into 2023, we enjoyed a good viewing of the fireworks display at Champs-Élysées, in the comfort of home and safely far away from the 1-million-strong crowd gathered there in person. Best way to partake in festivities, methinks. 😬 

To another better year ❣

卢森堡庆圣诞

这次到卢森堡过圣诞，格外感触。走过的一年太多起伏，大家都似乎有些心力交瘁，但至少最后到了年尾，最忐忑的困境终于也多少平复了，还真的有种如释重负的感觉。

法国传统庆圣诞，是注重前夕的大餐，就像华人农历的年夜饭：一家团圆，围桌享用盛餐，欢庆度过的一年。

家婆的厨艺精湛，所以在准备晚餐时，我可不敢插手帮忙，以免帮倒忙，只得安分守己地帮忙布置餐桌，客厅等。所幸她热爱圣诞的程度可称"疯狂"无愧，各种大小装饰品，小灯泡等样样齐全，我随意把不同的饰品拼凑一起，也看来似模似样，还算看得过去，呵呵。

如往年，这一餐一坐下就吃上七个小时，比跑马拉松还长，哈哈。但大家吃吃喝喝聊聊，时间还真的似箭，不知不觉已凌晨两点。我们各饱而不撑，带着暖暖的肚腩入睡。

圣诞，快乐

The delinquent daughter

Whenever I contemplate my relationship with the parentals and how it has evolved over the past thirty-something years, I always wonder if they feel shortchanged. Given the amount of time and effort they invested in me to ensure I have a good education, instilled values and morals that play a large part in formulating the person I am and how I relate to others, and always supported my interests and career/education choices, I wonder if they feel that they are not really getting enough back from me for all that.

I know parenthood doesn't quite work that way, but the parents do come from a generation who view children as somewhat of an investment, more so than what I think my peers expect generally. And while I do support them financially, I've never been a particularly affectionate child, nor do I confide or share much of my life with them - they are often kept on a "need to know" basis for most things happening. I've never brought them on a vacation, nor taken the time to interact with them beyond the usual sundry topics when we are together.

Part of the reason for that, is simply because that's pretty much how our family dynamics are - we have always been more reserved when it comes to showing care and concern. A larger part of it, however, probably stems from various incidences that occurred during my younger years, which left a streak of resentment running so deep that I still hold some level of grudge towards them. For not protecting me better, for not listening, for making me grow up way before I needed to. It all worked out well, but I guess there's a petty side of me that still can't really let go till now.

Now that we are all getting old(er), I am conscious of mortality, and the fact that at the end of the day, they did try their best, to act in my best interests. Parents are humans too, it's inevitable that they fail sometimes, or suffered lapses in judgment, but everything they do is always borne of love and a desire for my well-being. Perhaps it's time to let go of that last vestiges of wilfulness I hold, and be a better daughter to them than I have been, while I still can.

It wouldn't hurt to at least try.

Cultivating a green finger

Back in March when AB's parents visited, they noticed our empty planter area, and thought that we can do with a touch of life added to the area. AB's mum being a huge plants lover, headed out to the garden markets and came back with some six pots of orchids, gardenia, and fern-like leafy things. "He likes orchids!" she explained, and states that contrary to common perceptions, they are not that delicate nor high maintenance, and in fact the biggest danger to them is actually over-watering. Hahaha.

I have to say, that was reassuring to know, because frankly, I know literally next to nothing about keeping plants alive. I vaguely remember helping my mum water some plants with the water left over from rinsing rice (which I'm still not sure if it's the right thing to do) some 30 odd years ago, but that's about the amount of botanical experience I had. Not to mention that both AB and I travel quite frequently for work, so you can imagine the trepidation I felt about having the responsibilities over these newly acquired living things weighing on my shoulders.

Fast forward some nine months later, I'm happy to report that both the plants and I are still happy and alive. Additionally, for a person who always thought herself to be ambivalent towards flora and green, I found myself strangely fascinated with cultivating these inanimate living things. They really did liven up our living space, despite my initial skepticism. Also, there's an odd sense of delight that comes with spotting flower buds, and the spark of joy that flares when those buds bloom so elegantly, often when you least expect them to (eg after you were unable to water them for a week or so while travelling). It's a great lesson in respecting the natural timing of the universe indeed - that effort does not always reap the results you desire, and oftentimes, things will unfold when it's the right time. Shrugs. C'est la vie. It's all part of the beauty of life I guess.

Ultimately, as much as I have come to appreciate and adore these pretty beauties of nature, I don't see myself becoming an avid gardener. I may add some more blooms of my choice or preference when and if I have more space, but it's all also based on the level of commitment and time required.  So let's see how this budding relationship (hurhur) goes.

New-ish love

About a boy and his duck

One of my favourite things when interacting with AB’s parents was hearing tales of him growing up. Through these stories, I learnt that this man is the way he is not so much due to the way he was brought up, but really because that’s just his nature - this headstrong character with a will of steel, who, once he determines a goal or target that he sets for himself, will pursue it with unwavering focus until he achieves it.

But this is not a post about his titanium resolve - it’s a much more endearing, simple one about a boy and one of his first pets, a duck. Considering how much the French love eating ducks, you can imagine my surprise hearing about it at first. Now AB had mentioned it in passing, but was pretty scanty on details, so it was such a treat to hear about the adventures they had with this pet from AB’s mum, as she regaled me with how they came about to adopt a duck as a household pet. An amazing narrator, she would often gesture with her hands at the funny parts, pause for dramatic effect to achieve just the right amount of suspense, her eyes sparkling with mirth s she relived those precious memories. Ever so often, she would throw in sound effects to mimick the “conversations” even. I was entranced.

So it all came about when AB and his younger brother were still toddlers, and tagged along for a groceries trip with the mother. At the market, they had chanced upon a stall with ducklings, and the two boys were simply mesmerised by the cute fluffy yellow blobs. “Oh mama, they are so beautiful!” they exclaimed (hearts in their eyes). The kind mother melted and agreed to buy one home for them. And thus they picked out a particularly cute little duckling, packed in a small box and made their way home. Barring a minor mishap there the little terrified duckling attempted a prison break, briefly succeeded but nearly killed itself in the process (it decided to hide under the brake pedal!), they managed to make it home, and there, they started a life together (also earning the repute of “that family with a duck” in the neighbourhood.

As it grew, the duck became fast mates with the two boys. They loved chasing each other around the house, watching tv together on the couch (but only before mealtime so as to keep the couch safe from accidental organic decorations), and every morning, it was a race to the car as the boys had to outrun the duck so they could make the journey to school without the clucking companion. Saturnin (named after an apparently popular French canard explorer children tv series character) was not only known to the children though. It was a really sociable one who lived up to its name. It loved waddling out to the mailbox each morning as the mother went to collect the mail, and listened in as the neighbours chatted on news and gossip - this was a polite duckies, only quacking in acknowledgment when told that the conversation was over and it’s time to go home. It would also go to the bus stop every evening when the bus dropping AB’s dad from work comes by to wait for him and escort him home. To add to the charm, Saturnin is also a believer of good personal hygiene and an active lifestyle, taking daily swims in the canal just behind their home and making sure that his feathers are kept nice and clean at all times.

Unfortunately, this charming family life didn’t last and sometime after two years, tragedy struck. While the boys were in school, AB’s mum received a call from a neighbour whose dog was best pals with Saturnin with bad news - the two pals were play-flighting, and Saturnin being what he is, pecked at the dog. Canine friend decided to return the move, only the bite on the duck’s neck turned out to be a fatal move, and that was the sad end of the well loved Saturnin. AB’s mum didn’t have the heart to break the news to the two boys, and told them that it likely found a girlfriend and flew away to travel the world together. It was only revealed to them not too long ago, the truth to the demise of their beloved pet.

While this was a tale with a sad ending, it was so sweet to hear about their encounters and friendship. At the heart of it, what really struck me was AB’s mum’s tenderness towards the boys - that sensitivity to their feelings and protecting them from learning grief at a young age is quite touching. I had to deal with loss when my grandfather passed away when I was two, so I could understand why she did that. That’s the extent of a mother’s love. :)

零食怪物

妹妹送的爱心点心，让郁闷的办公日下午过得轻松许多。^_^

啃在嘴里，“咸”在心底。呵呵。

My 6-week immersion begins

The extent of my "crafty"ness.

AB's parents are visiting for a good six weeks, so I'm considering it as an immersion programme of sorts for me, to get more familiar with their culture, language and personalities.

While we got along fine while I was there over the passing of the year, that was a much bigger group and our one-to-one exchanges were more limited especially with the little niece commanding most of their attention. I was perfectly happy with that, as it allowed me plenty of opportunities to observe their interactions and learn more about them via that. While we have basic command of each other's main language, it didn't bother me that I couldn't participate in nor understand fully their heavy and passionate debates on politics and family affairs - in fact, these were conversations I was glad to sit out of as a guest.

However, with them here for double the duration of our visit there, it will also mean much more exchanges and time together. Despite it being my "home ground" this time, I can't help but feel some trepidation about how we might get along. They do generally seem very independent and chill, and I pride myself on being civil and polite, so hopefully we won't want to tear each other's faces off by the end of their stay. :p

I'd asked AB if he intended to take some time off from work to show them around, but he just shrugged, "I'd already taken two weeks off and shown them around when they first visited a couple of years ago. They will be fine this time - they just want to relax and take their time visiting."

And that was that. Knowing that they are well seasoned travellers, and confident enough to navigate our public transport system, I prepared some handy maps and tips of places they might want to visit in their first weeks here, to hopefully ease their initial orientation around to occupy themselves while we are both at work in the day. Printed these out and stuck them onto some hardy pretty paper with labels so it's easy to chuck into their bags and bring around.

AB also installed their phones with duplicates of his data sim so they are connected throughout their stay, and got them each an EZ-Link card.

With these, we start the six weeks of time together. Fingers crossed.

Information that will hopefully come in handy

Don't they teach these anymore?

Every year, during the Chinese New Year visits when I meet the tiny human offsprings of my cousins, I will ponder about how our generation educate (or not) on the next generation, and the rationale behind that.

I try not to judge and keep an open mind, but at the same time, I am entitled to my opinion while I am also brought up to respect the sayings "Mind your own business" and "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't." Oof.

So I just quietly observe and silently judge. Hahaha.

Frankly this doesn't just apply to my (extended) family, but because we were brought up with rather similar values and behavioural rules, I guess I'd expected that things that were taught to our generation as basic courtesy, and the importance of showing respect to the elders, would have also been passed onto their children. I remembered days of big family gatherings, where the children, upon arrival, would walk through the house to greet all the elders, preferably in order of seniority. Same applies at mealtimes, and when we are bidding our farewells.

It's tedious, but I never felt that it was unnecessary, and can understand the significance of it. Even as a really reserved and shy child, I would go about doing all these despite my discomfort, because it was the minimal required etiquette in my family. Even the sister, who is even more reserved than me, and has a harder time recognising most of our relatives because she saw them much less frequently, having been born at a time when we no longer meet regularly, would strategise to tag behind me to know how to greet each person we meet. No excuses. 

Fast forward to recent years, when we encounter the littles at relatives' place or family gatherings. The kids are all in their own world, either only sticking to the parentals or playing amongst themselves. and you would be told you are "lucky" if they actually greeted you. When the inclination strikes them, the parents make some half-hearted attempts to nudge their children to greet the relatives. When the kids resolutely keep quiet, they merely shrug and wryly explained, "They are shy" and left it as that.

Sure. I wouldn't be inclined to greet people I hardly see for more than once a year either, but more importantly, if I am not taught that it's important to do so, I wouldn't think it's something I need to either.

It just begs the question, "So you don't think it's important to greet your family members, and at least make a greater effort to recognise some of these relatives whom you already don't see often?" Or is it simply because you are too lazy to teach such values, only to lament that "Children these days are so hard to discipline." Okaaay.

I acknowledge that their generation is much less socially adept than even my generation - being born in a time and age where technology dictates that you learn to interact with others using your thumbs, behind a screen most of the time, definitely mean you are subjected much less to face to face interactions, but surely that's a reason to work even harder to ensure the right behaviours are taught so your children don't end up even more socially inept than they could be?

Perhaps I'm being a tad unfair since I'm not in their shoes, nor a parent myself. It's probably tougher to implement such teachings than I thought, but I know one thing. If I ever become a parent (not that even that is a given!), this is something that will be really important to me - I will not have my children be labelled as rude disrespectful brats simply because they are "shy". Because it only reflects on the type of education I subject them to, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I can't even teach my child(ren) what I define as basic manners. :p

(Although to be honest that's one of the reasons why I'm not inclined at all to have children - it's so much work! Not only to feed and clothe them and send them to school, but the type of upbringing I will subject them to that's acceptable to me.)

There I've said it. Another ranty post but I'm so glad I could finally air these thoughts which lurk at the back of my mind every year. It's not polite but at least I'm not saying it to their face. That's just what my parents taught me as courtesy. Heh.

Catch up with the sis

Between the wondersis being based in the States and me stuck in full-on "navelgazing" mode for the most part of last year, we haven't been as connected as we used to, and I've definitely missed that. One of my key priorities to address for the new year. :)

I promptly booked in a catch up with her the week of my return to Singapore, which eventuated as a run-date in her hood, and a chance for me to have a sneak preview of her renovated flat. Such fun!

We did a short 3km jog along the track just downstairs of her place - love that it's so near and convenient. At my parents', there was a running track a stone's throw away but still a 3 minute walk. This was even easier, we literally could start running as we left her block!

It's always a treat to run with her, or rather just doing any workout - this girl is my most frequent jogging/workout companion. It might or might not be due to the fact that we used to live under the same roof, and also since yours truly here only have a tiny handful of people I would actually bother to arrange to exercise with - I'm quite the lone wolf for my exertions, since the social factor was never my motivation, plus most of the time exercise is my me-time, which I am highly protective of, if you don't know by now.

With the sis, it's different, and much of it owes to our #samefactory traits - we enjoy each other's company, often in complete silence, and are so attuned to each other that we don't need to really say much to communicate either. While we used to have similar pacing, I can no longer count that as a plus since she outpaces me by a large margin these days, and often just accommodates to my snail speed instead. :p

So yes, we did our odd silent but comforting run, after which we had a wholesome yummy dinner cooked by her, whilst conversing on all kinds of random topics veering in all tandems late into the night. Best. 

It was splendid sister (and some brother-in-law) time, looking forward to more to come. : )

My dinner - check out that chunky thigh! ;D

thank you

Just thanking some individuals who have been motivating me, knowingly and unknowingly, in my fitness journey.

To you..
Your resilience and all-out enthusiasm has been infectious. That, coupled with your encouraging messages, have saved me from a number of times when the resolve weakened and temptation beckons to jus head home rather than fulfill the workout plan. Not to mention a fantastic wheely-date kaki. Thanks to you, I'm slowly rebuilding that much-needed momentum, and enjoying it too!

To you..
I used to admire your fitness levels and how you're just naturally more inclined towards sports than I am. I used to be that lazybones whom you could never get to play badminton with, and it's amazing how much we have evolved. You may not be as strong or active as you once were, but you never lost that love and passion for sports. I'm just glad that we share that now. I love running and swimming with you cos we have similar pacing, and it's quality time too during and after that. I also tell myself that with enough work, I might just have those trim slim legs of yours too. Heehee.

And last but definitely not least..
To you..
It's incredible how we uncannily find ourselves in the same situations more than once. I'm so glad that we have grown out of envying each other for what we can never have, and having that slight sour note in our voices even when we really want the best for each other. I'm loving the sms-es we have been sending frequently and spontaneously to report progress and give that needed nudge. It feels so much better knowing we are working hard towards a common goal, genuinely wanting the other to fulfil her goal too.

You know who you are. Thank you. :)

watered

Everytime I go for a swim, I would feel wonderfully refreshed and promise myself that I should do it regularly. And almost unfailingly, I end up staying on dry land for weeks, sometimes months, before I repeat the same experience.
:p

So last night was another nice sesh at the pool. Compared to the previous hassled experience I had, it was sweet relief to be able to swim in peace, focusing on cutting cleanly through the water, just the kicks, the strokes and the breathing. Managed to accomplish the 20 laps I set out to complete, almost non-stop, safe for slight pauses to adjust the goggles.

All happily watered, the evening was then rounded up with comfy company over light bites nearby. It's cool to have chums working close by I say! Sharing fitness plans and progress is a great way to provide more motivation, methinks. :)

I should really do this watering routine more frequently. *crosses fingers*

On another note, while strolling over to the complex after work, bumped into my cousin who was on his way back after a swim. Glad to see him looking somewhat more relaxed, though his eyes are still sad. It's consolation to know that he's carrying on with life, picking up the pieces rather than sinking into depression. I just hope that's a true reflection of what's on the inside as well.

somber

As the nation celebrated its 42nd birthday last week, a tinge of grey enfolded the family with the passing of a kin.

A phonecall from an aunt brought the dismal news - that my cousin-in-law had succumbed to the dreaded year-old battle with final stage cancer which she was diagnosed with last year.

Quietly, most of the family turned up at the wake to offer our condolences. The uncles, aunts, cousins, nieces and nephews. This is a rare time that the entire extended family gathered. And while it gave us the chance to update one another on our lives, the reason behind it was one never welcomed.

The cousin was one of my favourites, this tall, lanky kor kor who doted on lil me whenever I visited or stayed over during primary school times. However, while I used to play with the cousins quite frequently in kiddy years, we have grown quite apart as they all get married and started their own families.

I had to think hard to recall the cousin-in-law's looks, but the sight of the photograph immediately unleashed a flood of memories - of how we used to marvel at the resemblence between husband and wife, that gentle soft-spoken lady I saw during Chinese New Year and other festivities.

My eyes stung as my uncle related her final days, of how her condition had improved immensely, only to take an abrupt turn for the worse as her body rejected the chemotherapy she was subjected to. I heard the pain in his voice, the grief at the loss of a daughter-in-law who, in the midst of immense discomfort, still struggled to greet him whenever he visited.

My heart broke when I saw my cousin, valiantly holding himself together during the funeral proceedings, his sad smile of appreciation at our attendance, softly announcing our presence to his departed wife as we made our offerings at the altar. I ached when I saw his sunken cheeks, his haggard body, that haunting look in his eyes.

As I paid my final respects to this cousin-in-law I never got to know better, I offered a heartfelt, fervent prayer. May the departed find peace, and the survived find strength. The sole responsibility of bringing up their two young children will now weigh heavily on him, and it will be a rough journey ahead. So strength, loads of it, he will need.