Wednesday, August 23, 2006

how do i love thee?

Just as we all have different ways we like to be loved, I guess each individual has his or her own preferred way of loving others.

My loving style has evolved much over the years.

I used to hold the perception that 'when you love someone, you should show it and let them know' - that showing that you care, and how much you like someone, is the best way of loving them.

Simple logic it may seem, but yet I have come to realise that many times, it is not the best way to care for a person.

Strangely enough, there have been instances where I found myself having to distance myself or mask how I feel. Simply cos that's the best for that other person on the (non)receiving end of my affections.

There exist times when, ironically, it is kindest not to let someone know that you remember their birthday, their likes, their thoughts, that you care. Times when once you stepped over a certain line, or stepped back from that other boundary, that these gestures would do more harm than good. And vice versa.

Sometime in the distant past, a certain someone said this to me, which has stuck in my mind ever since. "You may not be able to control how you feel, but you can control what you say. Or not say."

How sad but true, at least for me.

It is a tedious struggle sometimes - but such is the dynamics of human relationships.

So, if you do not hear from me, it might not mean that I've forgotten about you, but that I don't wanna remind you that I remember you.


yuling said...

very true, gal..

oh, andy's reading the same book! he got it from our resource library..heh..

b.muse said...

Such a coincidence! I borrowed mine from NLB. Haven't read the first one though, seems interesting as well. :)

Anonymous said...

could you state some instances where not wishing your friend's birthday is actually better than wishing them? I can't seem to analyse how this is so. Unless they are not your friends..

b.muse said...

When you know that someone you regard as a good friend has non-platonic feelings towards you, and you're trying to keep a distance for the time being.

Simple friendly gestures like bday wishes can cause things to escalate and spin out of control. So I'd rather not take the chance and let things lie for now..

Trust me - these things happen!

Who's this btw? :)