Wednesday, July 13, 2005


Recently re-watched some of my fav movies.. Here're some tots and insights inspired by scenes and quotes from the movies.. =)

Bridget Jones' Diary 1
Jones' rejection of Cleaver towards the end of the show..
"We both deserve something more extraordinary than this"
This quote really struck a chord in mi - a kind of attitude towards relationships that is actually quite rare these days. Seen so many cases of couples or singles ard mi, perhaps dis-illusioned from past relationships or various other reasons, choosing to settle with someone whom they may not be in love with, but comfortable, compatible personality, secure, stable, the list goes on. Basically, it's kind of like they have this criteria of qualities they look for in a partner, and this person matches what they are looking for. Sounds fool-proof enuff isn't it? In essence, it's kind of like grocery shopping: writing down a list of things you need, then going thru the motion of getting the items. Check, check, check. Mission accomplished. Hmm, issit another Singaporean approach that we have been conditioned into - Efficient, straight forward, path of least resistance to get what you want. That way, you make sure u get only wat u need, and wun get deviated by distractions or gimmicks and risk ending up with something you actually dun need and get on impulse. :p
Well, have nuting against this approach. After all, everyone's entitled to his or her own opinion: It's your life, so it's your right to decide how u wanna live it. For me, I will stick with being labelled an idealist, or a romantic, watever u wanna call it. Cos this kind of an approach can never work for me. Ok, it might, just that I choose not to go down that path. Like Jones, I seek something more "extraordinary". No spectacular fireworks, no fairy tale or romance-novel plot required. I want to be with a person cos I want to be with him, not cos he's someone who is nice to be with.. A person who makes the simplest things seem wondrous. (Haha see the stars in my eyes?) Someone who can make my heart skip a beat, whom I like, just the way he is. Only then, will I be able to have the confidence in the relationship, since I believe it is only when I truly love that I can have the perseverence to see it thru all the way. Of cos, it's always a risk that it will end when this feeling is no longer mutual. But at least this is wat it would take for me to take the plunge.. Yes, feelings are not entirely dependable. I've learnt that, and I know that everytime I give myself this way I'm liable for heartbreak and disillusionment. But this is the only way I have a chance for true happiness. So, if I dun try, I'll never know.

Bridget Jones' Diary 2
Jones reprimanding Darcy:
"You can never muster up the strength.. to fight for mi.."
Hee, more starry-eyed rationalising - Here's my take: I never believe in the so-called "honeymoon phase" at the beginning of a relationship. Why so? Cos I feel that if the relationship is really progressing in the way I want it to, my feelings toward my partner will only get deeper, not diminish into some vague semblance of affection.. or worse, just a familiarity with each other. It never makes sense to me, the logic that after the initial few months of a relationship, it just evolves into this stage whereby you just can't be bothered to treat each other nicely anymore, with the reasoning that this is based on understanding or that you have "gotten used" to each other.
Wat is that?! I mean, isn't it logical that the more you like a person, the more you wanna treat him or her better? If this is the most important person in my life, wouldn't I wanna share everything with him? My joys, my sorrows, my troubles, my grumbles.. And wouldn't I wanna share his tots, know what he's gone through? If this is the love of my life, wouldn't I wanna shower him with affection, attention and spend as much time as I can with him.. Do things just to make him smile, be there when he needs me, gestures and surprises to make him feel special? I mean, of cos there needs to be understanding, respect, trust such that you can't and don't need to spend every waking moment together, or be so "sticky" that you eventually suffocate each other. I value my personal space, and others' too.. What I'm tokking about here is using the increasing familiarity and understanding to love each other better, not as a justification to take each other for granted. It's definitely tempting to slack off, but so much more rewarding to learn to appreciate each other more. Sure, things are fine or great now, but if we dun do anything about it and leave it as it is, well, it's more or less only downhill from there.. After all, always tot that relationships can only progress, or stagnate and deteriorate. It sounds like a lot of effort to keep things going, but if your feelings are strong enuff, it'd b pretty effortless. On the other hand, if the feelings are not as stong, it can still work if both parties are resolved to make it work. If not, really nuting much to say..

K getting tired.. shall continue with my incessant ramblings another time..

That said, to balance off the idealistic contemplations above, here's the lyrics of a song I like very very much.. Appeals to the other side of me.. the cynical jaded part.. :p
有時寂寞太沉重 身邊彷彿只是觀眾


難得誰自告奮勇 體貼讓人格外感動


嘿 回想戀情的內容



穿梭一段又另一段 感情中

愛為何總 填不滿 又掏不空

很快就風起雲湧 人類的心 是個 無底洞

嘗試親吻 嘗試擁抱 或溝通

沒有好感 在誠實 也沒有用

大多數人都相同 喜歡的只是愛情的臉孔

沒有誰背後慫恿 不該愛又愛的衝動



Anonymous said...

Precisely. Think you have just described exactly what I am going through now.

b.muse said...

Hmm I said a lot lei.. which part? :p Well still good to hear ppl identifying with wat i say. =)
Watever it is, jus hope u're happy, girl.. *hugs*